Friday, July 10, 2009
Wisdom of the Sages
| These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. A hungry dog hunts best. You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen.. I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them. I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par. After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. Swing hard in case you hit it. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best. The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law. I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course. If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced. |
Sunday, July 05, 2009
2nd 1st
2nd 1st
Confidently armed with my 31 handicap, I swaggered into the B-Flight tourney looking to conquer, and I almost played well on the front 9 . . . shot a 44 with 3 pars . . . had what I tho't was bad-luck on the last few holes, but wasn't worried . . . .
but it was hot and humid, and the terrain is, as always, grueling, and I think I still suffered some jet lag from our Bermuda Wedding Trip -- at any rate, my legs got tired, and it took herculean concentration to keep all my moving parts in synch . . . so I was very inconsistent on the back 9. Had a 55 with 2 pars, 3 double-bogeys, 2 triple-bogeys, and an 11 on a par 5 . . .
Saturday, June 20, 2009
1st Tournament, 1st Place
My first tournament in the Czech Republic: I intended to confound the Czech Bureacracy that had consigned me to the depths of Dufferdom with a 54 handicap by shooting a 90 in the tournament, thus netting a 36 for 18 holes . . . despite my lingering premonition that this might lead to unpleasantness -- I don't know what the penalty for sandbagging in CZ is, but I bet it's pretty severe! . . .8^D . . .It didn't work out that way . . .
Thursday, June 18, 2009
FW: Golf Blogger Outreach Project
From: grace@searchandsocial.com [mailto:grace@searchandsocial.com]
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 3:36 PM
To: David E Matthews (DHL CZ)
Subject: Golf Blogger Outreach Project
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Click here to SHOW the Images
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Click here to SHOW the Images
Monday, June 15, 2009
In The Rough
Mr Science:
http://www.golfdigest.com/golfworld/columnists/2009/06/golf_memorial_kenny_perry_controversy_verdi
The duffer takes his 3-wood out of the bag, and sets it down behind the ball, in deep rough. He lifts it, waggles, sets it down again a little harder. And again and again. Steps on the grass behind the ball, looks at the green and at the 200-yard marker, and says to his caddy: "What do you think, 3 wood?"
Green Card
Playing golf in CZ is not as easy as in the
http://bohemianduffer.blogspot.com/2009/06/green-card.html
Kolf Per Club Praha
From the clubhouse of Club Praha . . . a representation of the Dutch Game Kolf, played on ice, with hockey sticks . . . I always wondered: When they holed a putt, did the ball disappear into the canal, or was it a puck?
http://bohemianduffer.blogspot.com/2009/06/kolf-per-club-praha.html
Friday, March 27, 2009
J Golf Phoenix LPGA International presented by Mirassou Day 2
I was with Beth Bader and Irene Cho today. Jin Young Pak withdrew sometime between last night and this morning. So did Natalie. Lots of them getting sick this week.
Irene has a back problem, too, and after a couple of her drives she practically doubled over. They were long and straight, though, and she hung in there for a 73, making the cut easily. She had 69 yesterday, playing early.
Beth did not fare so well. She was hitting the ball nicely, but missed putts from everywhere outside 3 feet, and one inside. That one inside was on 15, where she was in the left bunker in 2 and took a 7. "No indignity too small" is Cactus Dave's usual remark on such an occasion. Before the 7, she was +7 and in range of making the cut at +5, but that sealed her fate. Of course, on the next hole she made her first birdie of the day, and then finished with 2 pars.
The highlight of the day occurred before I went out, in the volunteer tent. When the walking scorers come in, we have to compare their account of events to what is in the computer, to ensure that it did not change as it passed from them to the hole reporters and into the system. While the morning groups are finishing up, and the afternoon groups are teeing off, the two walking scorer supervisors are overwhelmed getting the new people ready at the same time as checking the stats for the earlier groups. I volunteered to help out during that time, and today we got two more helpers: Sarah and Katie, the cart girls. They were quite a quick study at it, but still it took me most of the morning to train and supervise them. I would like to nominate them as co-CGOM's for March.
J Golf Phoenix LPGA International presented by Mirassou (inhale) Day 1
I kept score for Christina Kim, Grace Park, and Morgan Pressel today. Grace had to withdraw after 9 holes because of back problems. On the back 9, people
were asking us constantly what had happened to her. Answer the question, walk 10 feet, and hear it again. As we approached the 17th hole, someone asked Morgan what happened to Grace and she said "We killed her".Right about the same time, one of the officials was asking the players what they thought of the course. Morgan must have indicated that one of the fairways needed some work, perhaps because it had been overwatered and there were a lot of large, deep divots. Christina, who had 109 to the green on the 421-yard 18th, said she hadn't noticed that, because she hit her shot over all the divots.
Morgan shot 74, but played well enough for 68 or so. She had two buried lies in greenside bunkers and one under the lip in a fairway bunker. From the buried lies, she got one to the fringe, and left the other in the bunker. Had to lay up with a wedge from the fairway bunker. Bogey every time. She had several long putts that burned the edges, and missed quite a few in the 4-8 foot range. And, she was suffering greatly from allergies. She said she only has a problem here in Phoenix, nowhere else. This time of year, as Cactus Dave well knows, about half the population here is effectively incapacitated by it. Morgan was sniffling and sneezing all the way around. At the end of the round, I told her she should go to the casino, because she was overdue for some good luck.
Christina started out well with a birdie on 1, shot 34 on the front 9 (which was called the back 9, because they reversed them for the tournament, but since we teed off on the fake 10th hole, it actually was the front 9 for us today) but ended up with even par 72. We were the last group out in the morning, and as we made the turn, the winds started up and got continuously worse until play was suspended at dark. 48MPH, the weatherman just said. I think there was one score under par from the afternoon tee times. I watched Lorena and Michelle go through one green, but then went back to the scoring tent to escape the blowing sand. In-Kyung Kim is in the lead by herself at 68, 5 tied at 69, and only 20 broke par today in a field that includes 90 of the top 90 in the world rankings. The 10 players that didn't finish are a collective 67 over par. Natalie shot 33 on the front, but finished with 72. Kris Tamulis had an ace on #2.
The group in front of us was supposed to be Natalie, Paula, and Juli, except Paula got sick and was replaced at the last minute. Still, they had big crowds following them.
I suppose it might have happened before, but if not it was only a matter of time: The aforementioned leader, In-Kyung Kim, was playing in the same group with Young Kim and Song-Hee Kim. There might have been another threesome like that, but Birdie Kim, Christina Kim, Joo Mi Kim, Mi Hyun Kim and Na Ri Kim were not paired together. If they all make the cut, we could have 4 all-Kim twosomes on the weekend.
I have joked before, this might be the walking scorer's worst nightmare, 3 Kims to score for . . . 8^D . . .
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
FBR 2009
I’ll tell you about it. The golf wasn’t very interesting (bloggable) and I don’t want to write about my “honored observers”.
My group Friday was Briny Baird (he didn’t remember me from the Fry’s), Jonathan Kaye (he didn’t remember me from Hartford) and Vaughan Taylor (the only one who introduced himself at the beginning). The standard bearers were interesting, both from AZ but not the Valley, they were here with their golf teams. One was a sophomore at a Jr College, 3 HCP, and the other was a Junior in High School. They were awed at being inside the ropes with the players. Good kids.
All three of them made the cut, but not without their ups and downs. Briny became an expert at the unplayable lie rule, and procedures for the ensuing penalty drop. On the first drop, it rolled more than 2 club lengths, and on the 2nd it rolled exactly 2 driver lengths from the drop point, but more than 2 driver lengths from the tee he had put in the ground to indicate the drop point. I tried to tell him he could use his wedge to measure the club lengths, but he called the rules official, who told him 1) it’s from the point it hits the ground, not from his tee, and 2) he can use any club the wants to measure a “club length”.
He also sent me scurrying for my rule book when he stopped at the practice green on the way from 9 to 10, and hit a few putts there. It turns out that’s OK.So, maybe it is bloggable, though short.
I ran across an old entry the other day, and the Mr Science Icon was animated . . . something new . . . I mean, I knew it was animated, but it never showed up on the blog before! Kewl!
I was in PRG, but I saw the finish a week later . . . I guess they could show it Monday night, but then what would they show Sunday afternoon? A very Kunderan meditation. . . it was a mess, I'm not surprised Mr Science had not much to blog . . .
