The Kokopelli Golf Stance

France Awarded 2018 Ryder Cup

2012-02-01T07:30:00.000-07:00

http://www.nationalconfidential.com/20110517/france-gets-2018-ryder-cup/

http://www.rydercup2018france.fr/index_rydercup.aspx

(google translation)

Recognized as one of the best championship courses in Europe, has seen the Albatros measure many professional and amateur champions. It sometimes harmoniously combines the air of "links" and sometimes "route-target."Obstacles to water, undulating fairways and large bunkers are coiled between undulating hills on which the high fescue roughs, the real difficulty of the course, especially when the wind is involved. The holes are francs. Traps, hazards or obstacles are never hidden. The large greens, apparently little hectic, are exciting to read and require very long putts spectacular. The first 6 holes are calling the attack. Birdie opportunities multiply by 12. But we must then defend until 18, for an especially exciting ... The Albatros is the ideal route to ensure, hole after hole, exciting duels and battles of anthology in the Ryder Cup 2018.

http://top100golfcourses.co.uk/htmlsite/productdetails.asp?id=536

A mere 20 miles to the west of Paris lies the Golf National. Here, at Guyancourt, surrounding the Chateau of Versailles – once home to Louis XIV – there’s a hint of Florida, a sprinkling of Ireland and a lot of France.

Golf National took three years to construct and in 1990 the Albatros stadium course opened for play. It was co-designed by Hubert Chesneau and von Hagge Design Associates (now known corporately as von Hagge, Smelek & Baril). The golf course was destined to become home to the French Open and also a centre for both national and international championships. It was also rumoured that a future Ryder Cup could be held here. The Open de France, which dates back to 1906, is mainland Europe’s oldest top-flight professional tournament and in 1991 the first French Open was played on the Albatros course. Argentina’s Eduardo Romero won the 1991 title and the event has remained at the National Club ever since, except for 1999 and 2001, when it was played at Golf du Medoc & Lyon, respectively.

Olympic Golf

2012-01-27T06:58:00.001-07:00

The ancient game of golf is on its way to the ultimate global forum: the Olympics. Next up: building a golf course worthy of the occasion.

By the end of next week, after months of jockeying, a winner will be chosen in a world-wide competition to create the course that the world's elite golfers will play at the 2016 Games in Rio de Janeiro.

Eight of the biggest names in golf design, including Jack Nicklaus, Greg Norman, Gary Player and Tom Doak, will make their final, 45-minute presentations to the selection jury on Tuesday and Wednesday. Soon after, a contract will be awarded for what is without question the most glittering golf-architecture prize of the decade.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203718504577182863365944898.html?google_editors_picks=true

Jersey Meadow, Houston

2012-01-15T01:53:00.000-07:00

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Brackenridge Park, San Antonio

2012-01-14T03:22:00.000-07:00

6243 Yds, Par 71, Slope 126, by A.W.Tillinghast, re-fit by John Colligan,
http://www.sanantoniogolf.com/courses/brackenridge/

They say:
"Brackenridge Park Golf Course, which is the oldest public golf course in Texas, was the first ever host to the Texas Open Golf Tournament in 1922. This historic golf course has the honor of being the first inductee into the Texas Golf Hall of Fame."

It's hard for me to say how the original Tillinghast design has been changed . . . and whether it could be considered an improvement, except in this way: I have also played Memorial Park in Houston, a contemporaneous effort by Braedemus, and Gus Wortham in Houston, the Blackhawk CC in Madison, WI, and "The Horrible Horseshoe" hole at Tour 18, from Colonial CC, another Tillinghast design. From those courses I have inferred certain design principles that I see are kept or not kept in the modern redesign by Colligan:

he has dropped / added holes . . . a former par 3 was pointed out to me . . . it looked like a really interesting hole, all carry and trouble all around that looked like a net loss to me, in that the terrain is sorta flat as a whole, and any trouble is an adornment

he has artificially elevated some greens, this is a net gain, imvho, much more challenging and interesting, shot-value-wise and visually.

he has left well enough alone (imvho) in many cases, so that the original routings, layouts, green complexes, bunker shaping, remains. There are some straightline fairway edges and squarish greens that look old fashioned to me, but not necessarily in the Tillinghast mold, so I don't know whether Brackinridge got an "economy" job way-back-when, or if it was done for modern greenskeeping reasons.

an entirely competent, desirable, effective re-fitting.

the course condition was forgiveable: playable, but damaged, from winter conditions and The Drought.

c.f. Top 10 Tillinghast courses:

http://www.golf.com/golf/gallery/article/0,28242,1682923,00.html

Golf Lesson

2012-01-11T23:43:00.001-07:00

http://framework.latimes.com/2012/01/11/bing-crosby-golf-lesson/

Mr Science Recommends

2012-01-11T00:28:00.001-07:00

Here. You can get a video every day, almost, with a few sales promos a month added. Not bad.

Subject: [Video] How to stop hitting fat while staying back

In this tip I address the problem of hitting fat shots while trying to work on staying behind the ball. Staying behind the ball is critical in a good swing but it must be done right. Check out this tip to help you stop hitting these shots fat.

To see how to stay behind the ball, but not hit it fat, click the big orange button below.

http://www.revolutiongolf.com/home/video/1344786803001

The Art of Golf - Atlanta High Art Museum

2012-01-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

http://www.high.org/Art/Exhibitions/The-Art-of-Golf.aspx

The Art of Golf explores the royal and ancient game as depicted by landscape and portrait artists, photographers, Pop artists and sculptors through the ages. This is the first-ever exhibition devoted to the game by a major American art museum. Comprising approximately 90 works from artists as diverse as Rembrandt, Charles Lees, Norman Rockwell and Andy Warhol, The Art of Golf examines the game's origins, its foundation in Scotland and its growth in America in the 20th century. The exhibition also features a contemporary and interactive video component and large-scale photography, and is accompanied by a full-color catalogue. The Art of Golf continues the High's multi-year partnership with National Galleries of Scotland.

Banning the game . . .

2011-12-22T18:47:00.001-07:00

If I had my act together I would have merged into the entry about Vietnam Golf the recollection that James banned the game back in 1457 . . . casting about for a link to said data, I found this old story (2009) . . .

If you Outlaw Golf, only Outlaws will Golf!

And, of course, oncet you talk about Outlaw Golf, no bunch of polychrome-polyester-wearing effete decadent running dogs comes to mind, but instead the image of some swashbuckling free-booters appears . . . cept that Willie Nelson is probably the real manifestation of Outlaw Golf, with results such as on the golf course he owned, where he said, “That hole was a par 9 yesterday . . . .” Hardly the Calvinistic approach that enables the character-building aspects of The Game . . . just IMVHO, of course . . .

Chávez Takes a Swing at Golf

A 'bourgeois' sport? Or a forced march spoiled?

By DANIEL FREEDMAN

Scots must be shaking their heads. Fresh from nationalizing almost every capitalist enterprise that yields a profit (or used to anyway), Latin American strongman Hugo Chávez has found a new class enemy: golf. Declaring it a "bourgeois" sport, the Venezuelan leader has ordered the shut-down of some of the country's best-known golf courses.

For a socialist like Mr. Chávez, banning golf might be considered, ahem, par for the course, even if he is a bit late to the game. The likes of China, Russia and Cuba banned golf decades ago although today they all enjoy practicing their swing. Perhaps this is exactly the historic precedent Mr. Chávez fears. The Soviet Union built its first golf course in 1988 and a year later the Berlin Wall fell.

Or maybe Mr. Chávez known for his paranoia about alleged Western plots to overthrow him has read up on Scottish history. In 1457, King James II of Scotland banned the game from the hills on which it was created. He argued that golf was a danger to national security as it distracted his soldiers from practicing their archery.

It turns out the king's fears may not have been entirely unfounded. Believing the threat of war had dissipated, his grandson, James IV, a keen golfer, lifted the ban in 1502. Eleven years later, in the Battle of Flodden against the English, Scotland suffered its worst ever military defeat. James himself was killed on the battlefield, along with a large contingent of Scottish nobles (many no doubt golf enthusiasts as well). Superior English archery played its part in the battle's outcome.

There could also be another reason a socialist like Mr. Chávez might dislike golf: The game is rich with religious overtones. Golf prompts many players to think about God and not merely because his name is so often (blasphemously) invoked on the course.

Players surrounded by the natural beauty the Lord created are reminded of the limits of man's ability to conquer it. Consider the elusive hole-in-one, the wind that ruins the otherwise near-perfect swing and the bunkers that upset a quick recovery.

"The Calvinists' ideal testing ground" is how the late British-American journalist Alistair Cooke once described it. "The bunkers, the scrubby gorse, the heather and broom, the hillocks and innumerable undulations of the land itself, were all seen not as nuisances but as natural obstacles, as reminders to all original sinners that in competition with the Almighty, they surely would not overcome."

In that sense, golf threatens to undermine a dictator's personality cult by reminding people of the true ultimate power. That's not the kind of message el presidente would probably like Venezuelans to hear even if he once described Jesus as the world's first socialist.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204683204574354203494729722.html

Par Value: Vietnamese Investors Sink Savings Into Golf Memberships

2011-12-22T18:18:00.001-07:00

Coveted Club Slots Are a Hot Commodity; Official Disdain for Sport Drives Up Prices

By JAMES HOOKWAY

HANOI Some Vietnamese government officials are teed off over golf. Transport Minister Dinh La Thang recently banned his staff from playing the game because he said it encourages gambling and makes them late for work.

Vietnamese are snapping up golf club memberships as investments. Pictured, the plush Van Tri Golf Club near Hanoi.

Other Vietnamese see golf rather differently: as a way to hold on to their money after years of booms and busts.

With property prices sliding and the local stock market in free fall, some people here are investing in golf club memberships in a last-ditch bid to protect their savings from being ravaged by soaring inflation and a fading currency.

Prices for club memberships around Hanoi have risen from around $6,000 in 2004 to roughly $30,000 now, with some of the plushest, complete with swimming pools, villas and tennis courts, reaching $130,000. That's not as expensive as top clubs in Japan or Singapore, but it is still a large slice of change in a country where the average income is around $1,200 a year.

"Buying a membership is better than putting cash in the bank, better than putting it in the stock market, and better than putting it into gold," said Do Dinh Thuy, a 48-year-old management consultant, amid the steady thwack of balls being driven out onto a local range here in Hanoi's suburbs. He recently bought a third membership, "and that one's not for playing, it's for investment."

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203802204577066091227404700.html?google_editors_picks=true

Phoenix pays $1.8 mil to end Papago Golf-Course debt

2011-12-17T03:09:00.001-07:00

by Lynh Bui - Dec. 16, 2011 08:17 PM
The Arizona Republic

Phoenix will spend $1.8 million to retire the $10 million debt that funded an overhaul of the Papago Golf Course.

The Phoenix City Council voted 6-2 earlier this week to spend the funds, giving the city complete control over the course. The investment allows the city to move forward with plans to find a new company to manage the property after Phoenix's first try at outsourcing operations failed.

In 2008, Phoenix outsourced the restoration and management of Papago to the Arizona Golf Foundation's management arm, which secured $12.5 million in financing through the Phoenix Industrial Development Authority. The golf foundation paid $10 million to renovate the course, and Compass Bank issued the bonds to pay for the improvements but had no one to pay off the debt after the foundation filed for bankruptcy earlier this year and went into default.

On Wednesday, the Phoenix City Council voted to retire the debt by buying the bonds for 18 cents on the dollar. "We're getting $10 million worth of improvements for $1.8 million," Councilman Tom Simplot said. "It's a good deal."

<snip>

Councilman Bill Gates said it was difficult for him to support spending $1.8 million, but it was a unique opportunity for the city to retire a significant amount of debt.

He said the next step is to consider getting Phoenix out of the golf-management business and possibly outsourcing operations for all courses.

Golfer Bobby Gates finds some magic after Disney World collapse

2011-12-07T01:25:00.001-07:00

"Some of our friends got together and did some research," Lauren Gates said. "I don't know how much time it took them to arrive at this, but they said that had Bobby finished just one stroke better in any one of the tournaments where he made the cut, he would have ended up No. 125."

Had there been any doubt about Gates' final status Monday, there was none after he played the 11th hole. He had gone four under on the front nine and stood 218 yards away for his second shot on the 528-yard hole. Then he hit a six-iron to 10 feet and sank the eagle putt.

Lauren, a former Aggies golfer herself, whom Gates calls "my rock," watched the putt drop, knew full well that there was little chance any more bad luck could intervene and responded with tough love.

"Don't give him too much credit," she said. "It was downwind."

http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-dwyre-20111206,0,4206672.column

Eagle Mountain, Scottsdale, Back9

2011-11-20T07:56:00.001-07:00

#18 (this dang blogger software continues to disappoint . . . why is it putting #18 first?. . . I could editorialize, to cover it up, to say, I Meant To Do That, because #18 is so awesome, but that's not what's happening)

#10

#10 Fairway

#11

#12

#12 Fairway

#13

#14

#14 Fairway

#15

#17

Mr Science Reports:
“I played Eagle Mountain yesterday. Shot 77. Missed a 2-foot par put on 9, three-putted 18 from 80 feet after hitting the wrong club from the fairway, and my 9-iron on 13 was really a 6, which went over the green on the fly for double bogey. I had 8 missed birdie putts (one made), 3 inside 15 feet.”
What a great course that is . . . almost makes me homesick for SCX . . . especially since I’ve put my clubs into hibernation for the winter. . . .

s'hot

2011-11-08T09:03:00.000-07:00

http://community.livejournal.com/vintagephoto/4450153.html

Golf Art in Austerlitz CZ Clubhouse

2011-11-01T06:36:00.001-07:00

Tiger! The Musical!

2011-10-30T14:32:00.000-07:00

Immediately, there is suspicion that TIGER WOODS is not telling the whole story. Women come out of the woodwork, claiming to have had affairs with TIGER WOODS.

COCKTAIL WAITRESS:
We had a good time
And he reached the green
In only two shots
If you know what I mean

PARTY GIRL:
We went out one night
And it was such fun
He did what he does:
Shot a hole in one.

ASPIRING ACTRESS:
He bought me a drink
And he asked me my name
Then he played off the first tee
It was a skins game

Read more http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/goingson/2009/12/fragments-from-tiger-the-musical.html#ixzz1cIr6bOc9

End of the Year BookKeeping . . .

2011-10-24T02:04:00.001-07:00

So Luke Donald is emphatically #1 . . . but Webb Simpson must be awarded the Greg Norman Snakebit award for 2011 . . . in 2 straight weeks the winner of the tournament has lapped him in the last lap with 6 straight birdies . . . .8^0 . . .

Yani Tseng wins at Yang Mei over Amy Yang, for her 10^th victory this year . . . Y-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n-g, that’s strong . . . 8^)

Sergio wins on his home course, for the first time in 3 years . . . 8^o . . . (Yawn) . . .

KJ wins the CJ at JeJu, SK by 2 . . . 8^D

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/10/23/SPR31LLBSK.DTL

Mickelson Buys Sanctuary . . .

2011-10-12T06:24:00.001-07:00

Noted by our on-site Observer, Mr Science

Phil Mickelson Buys Golf Course in Arizona

By mustang6560 on 5/4/11

Phil Mickelson is the beneficiary of an over-populated golf course market in Arizona.

The golf star and his agent recently purchased Sanctuary Golf Course in Scottsdale for a cool $2.2 million. Not a bad price considering five years ago that course was probably valued near $20 million.

Golf clubs all over Arizona, from Superstition Mountain in Gold Canyon to Seven Canyons in Sedona, have been hurt. But the economic fallout is especially noticeable in Scottsdale, the pinnacle of the Valley's sprawling golf landscape of close to 200 courses.

There are just too many golf courses for the metropolitan Phoenix market, said Roger Garrett, an Insight Land and Investments partner who has sold golf courses for 25 years.

I live in Mississippi where there are just over 200 golf courses in the entire state. In metropolitan Phoenix alone, there are 200 courses. Granted, there are more people in Phoenix than in the entire Magnolia state, but you wonder how they ever thought they would be able to support all 200 plus courses. Tack on an economic recession and a crumbling housing market and you have yourself a Grade-A problem. But hey, that's capitalism, right? The boom and bust cycle. The minority of people boom while the majority bust. And then the vultures come in and pick up the scraps (I'm not hating, Phil).

http://www.oobgolf.com/content/fore+play/1-4723-Phil_Mickelson_Buys_Golf_Course_in_Arizona.html

Phil Mickelson is 41 years old. His putting prowess has disappeared, he won just one tournament each of the past two years after multiple victories the previous six seasons, and kids half his age are winning majors.

Yet Mickelson is convinced that the PGA Tour hasn't passed him by. In fact, he believes his career is about to get a second wind.

"As good as these young players are, there are glaring weaknesses in their game," Mickelson said Tuesday. "I feel like being out there (on Tour) for 20 years, being able to work with top-notch instruction and have the practice really apply to my performance, that some of my best years are coming."

Mickelson, the Arizona State product who now lives in the San Diego area, was in north Scottsdale to promote the newly christened and re-designed McDowell Mountain Golf Club, formerly known as the Sanctuary Golf Course.

http://www.azcentral.com/sports/golf/articles/2011/10/11/20111011phil-mickelson-still-confident-in-game.html#ixzz1aZc95HqQ

Its Only Golf But I Like It

2011-10-05T04:16:00.001-07:00

http://thisisnthappiness.com/page/599

Mt Kum Gang NK

2011-10-04T23:30:00.001-07:00

When is a golf tournament not just a tournament? When it's in North Korea.

Mao Zedong's 'ping-pong diplomacy' thawed Chinese-US ties. Could Kim Jong-il's 'golf club diplomacy' do the same for North Korean-US relations?

By Bryan Kay, Correspondent / October 4, 2011

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA

Call it "golf club diplomacy." North Korean leader Kim Jong-il’s latest charm offensive involves a golf tournament, open to one of his country’s rarest sights: outsiders.

Mr. Kim may well be taking a page from 1971. That's when Mao Zedong, then leader of Communist China, famously invited American table tennis players to his country for a series of matches against local stars of the game. The move, later labeled “ping-pong diplomacy,” led to a thaw in Chinese-US relations.

North Korea's latest attempt at detente – the use of golf to entice a new branch of tourists – represents a departure from decades in the shadows as a notorious recluse. Desperate for foreign currency amid a cut in aid and reportedly crippling food shortages, the unlikely quest for foreign visitors, say observers, will mean striking a balance between tapping the market of adventure tourists and ensuring the visitors gain as little access to locals as possible.

North Korea recently gave the green light for the tournament, dubbed the DPRK Amateur Golf Open, to take place in next May at the Pyongyang Golf Course, which is about 27 kilometers from the capital and next to a military range. Not incidentally, this is the very golf course where Kim Jong-il's is said to have scored a "five holes-in-one" in his first-ever game.

http://www.csmonitor.com/World/Global-News/2011/1004/When-is-a-golf-tournament-not-just-a-tournament-When-it-s-in-North-Korea?google_editors_picks=true

As for the kind of experience tourists can expect? Ian Garner, tournament director, paints a more surreal picture of the course environment.

“The golf course wasn't designed as well as courses on the amateur circuits in Europe and America,” he says. “It was about the experience – the experience of soldiers patrolling the course, the experience of playing in a country that is so closed to the rest of the world.”

Diaries

2011-09-30T07:34:00.001-07:00

Wife's Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long. So I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.

I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset? He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband's Diary:

A four putt; who the hell four putts?

The Key to Putting: Not Thinking

2011-09-04T23:58:00.001-07:00

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111904716604576544542323806566.html

Dave Stockton suddenly seems to be the "it" instructor on the subject of putting. Current or recent students include Rory McIlroy, Phil Mickelson, Matt Kuchar, Adam Scott, Yani Tseng and Suzann Pettersen. But he's actually been teaching other pros for years—just more quietly.

"In those days, I just wanted to play. I didn't want people coming up all the time and asking me questions. So when I worked with someone, I'd tell them, 'You don't owe me anything, I just want you not to tell anybody that I helped you,' " he told me this week.

He advocates minimal attention to mechanics, no practice strokes and rolling the golf ball smoothly, like an artist applying paint to a canvas. His most successful early student was Annika Sörenstam. She credits Stockton for helping take her from a two-win 1999 LPGA season to 24 wins over the next three years.

Prazsky Pohar - 3rd Round - Hostivar

2011-08-06T09:40:00.001-07:00

Well, so first, I have to do a little housekeeping . . .

Round 2 at Hodkovicke was not a success for me . . . 49-49=98 in the rain, but the rain wasn’t what bothered me . . . just miserable putting . . . I wisht I could blame it on the rain and the sub-standard greens, but I tho’t the course conditions were good. Good enough to make me regret some of the harsh things I said last time about Hodkovicke . . . it’s still mostly flat, but it’s a good muni-quality course . . . there weren’t as many mosquitos this time and I was ready for ‘em anyway, so let’s just say it: Dave’s putting sucks, and when Dave’s putting sucks, he doesn’t score . . . no matter how close he gets . . . missed a 3 footer for par on #4 that told me all I needed to know . . . I didn’t really total it up, but easily 8 or 9 3putts, and a slew of missed, makeable 1 putts . . . wound up with 26 stableford points so not a total disaster, but . . .

I had my first birdie in a coon’s age on #18 . . . a 250m par 4 with a green heavily bunkered, enuff so that I don’t feel tempted to let the big dog out . . . I hit 5wood both times around . . . first time: popped it up into the right rough; caught a flyer on my approach, to the back of the green; 3putted from there . . . SOP . . . 2^nd time: gravitated a 5wood high down the middle to 30m short of the green; popped a 1/3Sw onto the front of the green that rolled right by the cup . . . I tho’t it might go in; finally made that one knee-knocker (3ft) for my birdie . . . No Indignity Too Small, that’s what I always say . . . 8^D . . . I did also play the par 5 #8 perfectly the first time thru, but missed the birdie with a putt from the fringe a foot and a half to the left . . . jeebus . . .

Anyway . . . today . . . took two busses to get to Hostivar . . . the change didn’t go well . . . first bus was late or something, so I calculated that the next bus would get me there with minutes to spare, so still ok, that’s the margin I had allowed for . . . unfortunately . . . I had selected the wrong stop . . . I jumped off according to my plan, but quickly recognized that I was not at the right place, from the prior visits . . . so I desperately hoofed it down the street to the next busstop, hoping it would be where I wanted to be . . . so I had a nice warmup of a 1 klic hike before my round . . . 8^) . . .paid for the tournaj expeditiously, tended to Nature’s Call, stripped off my rain suit, since the sun was coming out, and huffed up to the first tee, Howdied everbody, the starter said ‘You go first, and I was ready . . . but as I headed to the tee, the punk starter said, “And next time, please come earlier!” . . . .

I didn’t turn around, just went ahead, but I said, “Dude, I missed my bus.” Then hit a jaw-dropping majestic drive down the left side . . . didn’t bother me . . . and he STFU . . . I was partnered with a couple of Czech natives and another woman . . . couldn’t have been better company . . . they spoke very good English (even if somewhat limited), and were just very amiable. On the second hole, after I blasted another drive 50m past the pack, the other woman Anna told me, “You must be a very good golfer!”

“Well,” I demurred, “I play sort of an American Game, you know, long on power and short on strategy” . . . 8^) . . . “If I could putt,” I added, ‘I *would* be dangerous!”

“Dangerous?” she guffawed . . . hadn’t heard that sorta English afore, I guess . . . 8^) . . .

And that was the story of this round, Big Drives Down The Middle, pretty good Approaches, miserable short game & putting . . . wound up with a 41-43=84, and I *know* I had 4 3putts a side . . . I don’t think I had any 1putt pars (and no birdies) . . . so this duffer cain’t complain about 84 . . . but D-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-d-e, I’d had a 37 on the front without 3putts, and on the back, I finished double-bogey, par, and quadruple-bogey in a flurry of bad-putting and club-throwing-temptations . . .

This lowered my handicap to 14.7, which means I am gonna have to fix that putting our I’m gonna be a perpetual also-ran . . . .and now that I’ve won 3 of the last 4 tournaj I’ve entered, I kinda got usta winning, if you see how I mean . . .

My prizes for this tournaj win were a cute little trophy, a blotto of slivovice, a coupon for a couples treatment at a beer spa (if you’ve ever heard of such a thing), a book of golf tips (in czech, natch).

Now comes the weird part . . . I won the B-flight first leg of the Prazsky Pohar, because my dilatory play over the last year-and-a-half had raised me to 18.1, and the cut-off for A-group was 18 . . . I knew this was gonna cause problems . . . 8^D. . . so after that round (81 strokes / 46 stableford points ) my handicap was lowered safely into the A-flight to 15.1 . . .so I was competing in the A group for the next two rounds, and they award the Prague Cup based on the total number of stableford points *in your flight* . . . even after the scores were in, they didn’t make any announcements for over an hour, and I figger it was me causing the consternation . . . I do feel kinda robbed . .. cuz all I got was a 2^nd place cup for B-Flight, because there was some sand-bagger that did the same thing from C to B that I had done from B to A, if you see how I mean . . . 8^D . . . another weird thing is he sits about 10 feet away from me in my office, in different groups, so I didn’t know him, never talked to him, but he got the giant 1^st place trophy for B-Flight, while some young flatbelly I know from Motol got the 1^st place in A-Flight . . . 8^D . . . my prize for that is a very nice smaller sized cup and some coupons for free rounds at the 3 courses of the Prazsky Pohar. . . .aint’ that sumthin’ . . .

Prvni Misto, A-Flight, GCP Tournaj

2011-07-23T23:58:00.001-07:00

Won my first A-Flight Tournament . . .

That’s two-tournaj-in-a-row, if you can believe it . . .

43-47=90, 33 Stableford points off a 15.2 handicap . . .

I was the only entrant in the A-Flight whose handicap wasn’t raised . . .

Altho’ the front9 was almost satisfactory, my back9 was very disappointing . . .

I tho’t it was just me and my bum knee,

but apparently the high wind was throwing a lot of people off their game . . .

The wind didn’t bother me at all, tho’ I had a couple of shots blown off line,

and it did seem that into-the-wind was tougher than with-the-wind was easy,

but I spent all my extra strokes where I always do,

in my short game & putting . . .

I still putted well most of the day, lots of one-putts,

But I had 6 on two par 3s, floundering around,

And my I took multiple shots to get out of the sand at least 3 times.

Still no birdies . . . which is really wearing on this boy . . .

My closest miss of a birdie was on the awesomely long par 5 #4,

Crushed my drive, but the turf was so wet I got no roll, that made for just average distance,

Hooked my 7wood 2^nd shot so bad it wound up in front of the #5 tee, but with a clear shot at the green,

Hit the best 6iron of my life to 8ft past the pin, a putt I KNOW, I have had before,

But the dang thing did NOT break right like it was sposed to . . .

A very galling par . . . 8^) . . .

Finished 5-6-7, bogey, triple, double,

which I attributed to my bad knee – I’ve NEVER hit a bad tee shot on #9/#18 before –

and I HATE not to finish strong,

so I was totally amazed to win,

and Kvjetaak was Astonished or Astounded, depending on which is more Amazed . . . 8^D . . .

My prizes were a rain coat, a gimme cap, a golf magazine subscription, and a trophy that is the ugliest thing I have ever loved . . . 8^D . . .

Golf Cheesecake

2011-07-22T05:30:00.000-07:00

http://www.posters.ws/images/880148/are_you_ready_to_score_cheesecake_golfer.jpg

Ft Worth Rules

2011-07-17T06:32:00.001-07:00

Well, the other day, Kvjetaak was telling me how he had to buy a round of drinks for the three ladies in his 4some (lucky dog) because he foozled his t-shot that didn't pass the women's tee . . . Prague Rules, if you see what I mean, but that reminded me of a story about me and my old partner JD, back in Houston . . . )

Well, first of all, I want to thank the Greens Committee for this opportunity to explain our side of the incident which occurred this last weekend. I am fully confident that a complete airing of the facts will vindicate myself and my golf partner of any misconduct. I am sorry that he will be unable to join us today, not due to any reluctance on his part to appearing before the committee, I assure you, but rather because of a physical incapacitation which I am sure you all readily understand. Neither of us would do anything to jeopardize our good standing here at Bear Creek.

I must provide some background prior to that explanation, however, so I will thank you in advance for your patience.

The first thing I want to clear up is that we are not anti-social; it's just that not many other people really want to be outside in the noonday sun in Houston in August. It so happens that it is convenient to our schedule, however, and we don't mind. It was REALLY hot that day, though, and humid. Even the mosquitoes were kind of half-hearted in their pursuit of bare skin.

The second thing I want to say, is that neither J.D. nor I was drinking on the course -- not that I think there is anything wrong with drinking on the course. It is true that we were drinking in the 19th hole bar later, but I think that even our harshest critic would have to admit that was the only sensible place to be and the only prudent thing to be doing after the round we had.

The last thing is that at the par five first hole we ourselves had no idea of the disaster awaiting us; we just had in mind a leisurely 18 holes of golf.

So when I duck-hooked my drive onto the driving range, I wasn't worried. When I did finally find my ball among all the range balls, it was a simple matter to punch a three iron through the trees back out into the fairway with hardly any loss of yardage at all. And when J.D. hit his customary slice among the trees alongside the dry creek bed, it was no challenge to his manly mien to plop a seven iron over the trees back into the fairway. That left us both mid-irons to the green, where we both got pars and J.D.'s was a sandy.

Now I can tell by the restlessness of my audience that something is amiss, but whether it is some unreasonable indisposition to listen to the presentation of our case in an orderly fashion, or a biased inclination to be skeptical our abilities, I don't know. I can perhaps limit myself to a bare recitation of the facts, but I refuse to be brow-beaten into a less than adequate defense.

So, even on the par four second hole, when J.D. had caromed his drive off a boulder in the dry creek crossing the fairway onto the hardpan rough on the right and I had hit mine off the toe onto the froghair of the sixth green, our confidence was still high. It was unfortunate that J.D. pulled his second shot into the water on the far side of the fairway, just as I pushed mine over into the woods on the same side, but somehow we both managed bogeys with good wedges near the hole.

All right, to keep it brief, let me just say that we were both short in the sand on the par three Third -- the ball just doesn't carry in that humid air -- and J.D., who is a better sand player than me got up and down for his par, but I had another bogey.

We were standing on the fourth tee, feeling reasonably good about things, taking our time, when we first saw him, this John Henry Firk, hurrying up to catch up to us. He caught our attention first because of his walk, a kind of double-jointed, bowlegged walk and dragging his clubs in a hand-cart that swung back and forth like a rental trailer when you get going 70; then, because of the way he was dressed, not like any other golfer I ever saw: he was wearing a feed store gimme cap, a western shirt with pearly buttons open to the middle of his chest with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, button-fly blue jeans bagging in the seat and cheap athletic shoes without spikes.

"Cactus," says J.D. "We're in for it, now."

I don't want to leave the wrong impression here. We recognize that day players are an essential part of the club's income. J.D. and I enjoy playing with these itinerants because they add a little variety to our game.

Hurriedly teeing off without this singleton was not an option. The Civilized Etiquette of Golf does not allow this.

"Howdy," he said. "Name's John Henry Firk -- mind if I join you boys in a little pasture pool?"

I don't think I can stress too strongly the misgivings J.D. and I felt, but we were stuck. In retrospect, I can see that all of the following events could have been foretold right then and there. But even so, like when you make eye-contact with a panhandler on a downtown corner, what can you do?

"Whyn't you boys go ahead and tee off while I catch my breath," said John Henry. And without rolling his eyes more than once or twice, J.D. did.

Now, by the fourth hole, J.D. gets an idea how big his slice is going to be that day, and he can allow for it. Four is a long par four dog leg right, which is perfect for J.D. when he hammers it.

"That was right good," said John Henry as we watched J.D.'s ball bounce on the baked earth, "Prob'ly good for 240". A drive like that makes a fellow mellow, and the generous sentiments John Henry expressed so humbly may have caused J.D. to forget his suspicions, but I did not, which caused me to mis-time my sway and toe it down the right hand side along the trees till my natural hook took over and brought it back out into the middle, not as far as J.D.'s, but good for me.

"You boys set a high standard," said John Henry as he addressed the ball. I don't think I'll be telling any secrets if I say John Henry was clearly an autodidactical golfer. He waggled like Will Rogers doing his rope act in the Follies. He shuffled his feet as if he were at a barn dance. He swung like he had picked up a hot branding iron by the wrong end. The ball hopped like a jack rabbit. In April in Houston, that ball would go about 75 yards. In August he got about 175, through the dogleg, into the rough. He was delighted. "Hot Damn," he said, "I'm ready to play now!"

I have already spoken of the character of J.D. He is made of the right stuff. "Good shot," he said, while I was struck speechless. J.D. gently guided me back to our electric cart. John Henry was off like a greyhound, with his hand cart swaying behind him.

J.D. and I are just a couple of duffers, we have no pretensions to greatness, but we do like to preserve a little of the Spirit of St. Andrews in our golf and we felt like playing a round with a rodeo clown might make that difficult.

Since the committee now includes women -- of which I wholeheartedly approve -- I will spare you any description of the iron-play of John Henry Firk. Suffice it to say that only a technique such as his would allow the taking of a divot out of hardpan. After his first iron shot I could watch no more myself, and I could see that J.D. was swallowing hard.

Somewhat shaken, we both missed the green with our third shots, and, after John Henry had rejoined us with a hearty "At least we're all dancin' now", three-putts seemed in order. By this time, if not before, J.D. and I both knew our ball was out of round, in a manner of speaking.

The Fifth was more of the same, with John Henry fearlessly foozling balls left and right, to the detriment of our game. As J.D. moodily puffed his cigarette, twisted around in his seat to watch John Henry do violence to the course with golf form that I cannot even bear to recollect, we bantered plausible excuses to offer at the ninth green: "My pager has gone off", "I have wrenched my wrist", "I think my appendicitis is acting up", but we couldn't come up with anything that sounded convincing to our own ears.

"Where'd you learn to play golf?" asked J.D., ever the polite conversationalist -- I was trying to give John Henry the silent treatment to see if he could take a hint, but J.D. is just too nice a guy. He hasn't got a slow fuse, he has no fuse at all. I've seen him patiently wear down more than one obnoxious drunk with implacable courtesy and good humor. Never heard him say a bad word about anyone except his ex-wife, and that was more in sorrow than in anger.

"Ft. Worth," said John Henry Firk.

"Is that the Colonial CC?" asks J.D. because he's no angel, but that seems like a harmless joke to me, although it did seem to give John Henry pause.

"Naw, the Haltom City Course," said John Henry, not without pride, "We got a twi-lite league there that plays on Tuesdays. 'Course it's not as nice as this 'un; we play winter rules up there all year long."

At the par three Sixth, John Henry made a shot I only believed pros could make, skipping his ball over the water four times with topspin, onto the green. J.D. had missed right and I, left.

"Haw-haw, Haw-haw. I almost made it!" cried John Henry.

Stress and tension are death to a short game, so it was no wonder we both took sixes, while John Henry, rounding into form, three-putted for a four.

"My honor, I believe," he said as he teed up on Seven. He made a lasso loop with his driver that would have made Gay Brewer wince and for once, instead of a rabbit, hit a line drive, on an oblique to the line drawn by the course designer. But it glanced off one of those huge sycamores that line the fairway and bounced back in the general direction of the hole.

"Haw-haw, Haw-haw. We call that a TCU bounce," said John Henry, "You got to belong to the right church to get that kind of bounce."

Well, J.D. has been down here about 15 years, but he comes from Chicago, and the ways of the Southwest Conference still confuse him sometimes. His sterling character includes a healthy portion of religious tolerance, so he said nothing, but he pull-hooked his drive into the rough, which is a sure sign of sublimated anger in a confirmed slicer.

My own drive was sinfully weak, since I was suffering inner torments myself, and it was a mercy when we were able to hole out with an 8 and a 9, while John Henry circumnavigated the green in a tightening spiral gyre so that he was down in 7.

Throughout the eighth and ninth holes, John Henry regaled us with other insights into the game of golf as offered by the philosophy of our northern neighbors, including the White Rock Roll, the Camp Bowie Bend and the Cherry Street Drop-Off. All of which was quite educational, but it made me all the more surprised when we sped by the clubhouse at the turn to go straight on to 10, with John Henry in hot pursuit.

"We are playing on?" I asked.

"We are playing on and we are going to beat this character," said J.D., "Beat him like a drum."

"Well,then, I've got to go back to the pro shop for another sleeve of balls," I said, "I lost the last of my good balls in the lake there on 9."

"Go on then," said J.D., "and I'll wait here for the Pro from Ft.Worth."

If I had ever had feelings of ill foreboding before, I had them doubly now. I don't think I had ever heard J.D. resort to such black sarcasm before. Preying on my mind also was an uneasy wariness of any unknown golfer from Ft.Worth. I've heard enough from Dan Jenkins and Lee Trevino to know that the place is full of nothing but a bunch of sandbagging sharpshooters just looking for a couple of duffers like me and J.D. to hustle.

By the time I got back to the Tenth tee, J.D. and John Henry were finalizing their financial engagement. J.D. was talking through gritted teeth camouflaged with a fixed grin, and John Henry was talking around bites of a huge chili dog, so I didn't quite catch all the nuances of the bets placed for the last nine holes, but I figured someone would tell me what I owed later, anyway.

I must have still looked confused, cause John Henry said to me, "Look Podner, these is Ft. Worth Rules, they're real simple: this is a skins game with carry-overs, nobody gets any strokes and anyone can press." This of course confirmed my worst fears, that we were sheep to be shorn to this North Texas Sharpy.

So we teed off. John Henry hit a slicing worm-raper down the middle, I hit a waist-high hook down by the lake. That didn't worry me too much, I've been down there before. Ten is a short par-four and if you can just split the sand traps that guard the front of the green, you can roll a three-iron right onto the green from there.

I could see there was trouble for J.D. when he addressed the ball. His jaw was still clenched -- his hole body was clenched. He was no longer playing a social game. He was not playing for money. He was playing to put this misfit back into his place. To send him back where he came from with the knowledge that in Houston, if not in Ft. Worth, we know how to play golf, both with skill and style. Where before he had played with internalized irritation and muted disgust, now he intended to play with righteous wrath, as if Jesus had discovered the Philistines cutting divots on the practice green and was resolved to cast them out.

Or, to put it another way: he topped it. Not with the forceful overspin John Henry had been putting on the ball, rather with the sort of scalping that used to really ruin a ball before surlyn covers came along. The ball barely rolled forward to the next tee box, well behind the red tee markers.

"Hawhaw, Hawhaw." John Henry was amused. "Remember I said this was Ft. Worth Rules! You're gonna have to leave it out on the next tee."

When J.D. flubbed his second shot, I didn't reckon there was any need to wait for the storm to break. I grabbed my putter and three iron and said, "Meet you on the green," and trudged off to my ball. J.D.'s face was black and his knuckles were white were he gripped his club. I figured my only hope was to halve some holes so that the damage to my wallet was minimized. I didn't reckon J.D. was going to be any help. The cryptic caution of John Henry didn't quite register with me then, nor J.D.; we had other things on our minds.

I once read about a tournament that Ben Hogan lost. He was always in trouble because he kept landing in his divots from the day before. Of course, they were in the fairway. But there I was, in the rough by the lake where I had been many times, and by some providential intervention I was able to roll my three-iron shot between the traps onto the green even though I hit it thin.

When I got to the green and looked back at J.D. I was sorry to see that he looked more like a hockey player working the puck than a golfer. He must of been laying about 7 by that time, but no way was he going to pick up. When he got into wedge distance, he finally had some luck though and got under the ball. It was a little short though and buried itself in the right-hand trap.

"Hawhaw, Hawhaw, Hawhaw," laughed John Henry. "Better get that spatula out of your bag; that's the only way your gonna get that fried egg out of there!" The guy just had no idea when to lighten up.

J.D. got out well, all things considering, and I got down in three, to half the hole with John Henry.

Eleven is a long par four running parallel to Ten that I have never reached in two in my life, so I was more or less resigned to losing. But even that despair did not prepare me for the next events. John Henry hit another line drive back onto the Tenth fairway, scattering the foursome behind us, and I hit a kind of weird pull slice down the left hand side, just off in the rough.

J.D. stepped up to the ball with a haste that could have been mistaken for eager confidence, if you hadn't seen him drive on the previous hole, when John Henry spoke, "Hey, Podner, ain't you forgetting something?"

As I keep saying, J.D.'s manners are more or less faultless, so he only had a quizzical look on his face, as if he had forgotten what he was doing in mid-waggle; I am sure that my own reaction was more obvious, even if it was short of fainting dead away. I think it's only slightly less heinous to shout at someone when they step up to the ball than to goose them when putting. To me, there are some things you just don't do.

J.D. only said, "What's that?"

John Henry said, "This is Ft. Worth Rules, you know."

"There must be something about Ft. Worth Rules you forgot to tell us," said J.D. "because I haven't got the foggiest idea what you mean."

"Well," said John Henry with exasperation, "I reckon everybody knows the basics of the game they play."

"You mean golf," said J.D. with exaggerated politeness.

"No, I mean Ft. Worth Rules," said John Henry.

"You're going to have to remind me what all that means," said J.D. as he backed away from the ball and leaned on his club like it was a podium.

"I mean," said John Henry, "when you don't drive past the women's tee on the previous tee, you have to hang it out on the next hole to prove you belong back here with the men."

"Very funny, John Henry, v-e-r-y funny" said J.D. as he picked up his driver again to address the ball.

"I'm not kidding about this. At all." declared John Henry, "I am one hundret percent serious about this."

"Well if you think I am exposing myself on this golf course to satisfy your interpretation of these so-called Ft. Worth Rules, you've got another think coming!" said J.D. with dignity. I have already tried to stress how essentially conservative our outlook on the game of golf is, so the committee must be able to see how distasteful even such a suggestion was to us.

"I don't care what you call it," said John Henry, "but a bet is a bet. What I know is you are going to follow the rules we have agreed on."

"Oh yeah?" asked J.D.

"Yeah." declared John Henry, and with two long steps he was in J.D.'s face ready to change the name of the game to pugilistics.

Now here I might say a word.

The world is changing; we are intelligent men -- and women -- and we see that is changing, we acknowledge it and adapt to it. Whether it means using a graphite shaft instead of a titanium shaft or cavity-back, gooseneck irons instead of forged irons or two-piece balls instead of three-piece balls, we change with the world. In the world outside Golf, we recognize these changes also, that if we cannot make cars anymore, we can at least sell them, and so on. But every change so profound has casualties, and I would like to think that John Henry Firk was one of those victims, a wild animal caught in the merciless onrushing headlights of changing civilization. Some years ago, in Ft. Worth, John Henry would have been comfortably engaged at the stockyards, ropin', brandin' and ridin'. There he would not have seemed so out of place, and if in the middle of some competition such as bronco bustin' or steer wrestlin', he felt like rolling around in the cow-patties with some casual acquaintance, why, no one would raise an eyebrow. Indeed, such an episode is a necessary preamble to a friendship in those quarters.

But here it was out of place. In golf, a sniffle during your opponent's backswing is considered violence.

J.D. considered his options. I could read each of them in his face as he ticked them off. I was thinking, too. Quick action with my driver might have been taken, except that I had seen John Henry take a huge divot out of the hardpan on Four, and somehow, my own stiff-wristed half-slosh seemed inadequate to the purpose.

J.D. finally said, "OK," and once decided upon his course of action, never wavered. There was no furtive rubbernecking. There was no hesitancy or trembling as he bent to his purpose. Instead there was a sort of proud defiance as he unencumbered himself.

About J.D. I could have told you many things: that he is classically good looking, tall, dark and handsome; that he has a real savoir-faire, especially when he smokes; that he has a friendly demeanor, a candid disposition and a ready laugh. So it never surprised me that he had a way with women. What did surprise me is that in addition to these ephemeral qualities, he had been gifted with non-standard equipment by the Pro in the Big Pro Shop in the Sky. In a world of five-irons, he was Jumbo Driver with an extra long shaft. Even John Henry was impressed, but where he had had words to praise J.D.'s best drive, he was now struck dumb. He and I both receded from the tee box. It was all we could do to keep from bowing.

All doubts and confusion had disappeared from J.D.'s mind, his face had the regal complacency of the Dalai Lama as he waggled. He seemed almost offhand as he made his backswing. He was positively serene as he swung effortlessly through the ball. Where before he had rushed and lunged, now he made a faultless turn. The contact of his driver to the ball made no sound above the whoosh of the club. The apogee of the ball was so far down the fairway that it seemed surprising that it landed at all, fully 310 yards, straight as an arrow, with none of the slice J.D. was wont to hit.

I can explain that, too, as J.D. explained it to me later, in the bar. We have all seen various devices for improving the golf swing: there are the coat-hanger, the hula-hoop, the noodle and a hundred other gimmicks which are palmed off on duffers desperate to break 100. I remember my dad talking excitedly about one to keep your head down during the swing by attaching a fishhook to a headband. Possibly the only one of these that is worth the $39.95 you pay for it is the Tassel. I am sure you have seen it advertised on cable TV late at night, during which some hopeless celebrity slicer is cured by some non-touring pro using the Tassel to teach him to get over the top of the ball. Sort of like a sash with a weight attached to it; supposed to help you time the pace of your swing, or something.

Well, J.D. had his own Tassel. From the first backswing, he told me, it was clear he was onto the real McCoy. J.D. had always made the correct hip-turn, but the pace had been wrong. Now with his own metronome to keep time, arms, legs and body were all perfectly in synch.

J.D. waited not for our accolades, but merely replaced his driver, took his seven iron and strode off down the fairway. He walked alone, with a graceful gait that covered the yards quickly. John Henry was moved to action only when the awesome presence had receded sufficiently.

"Haw," he croaked weakly, "Goddang. Did you see that?" he muttered as he wandered off to his second shot.

I was no less amazed or affected, but I felt the jury was still out. We have all had simple cures for the complex problems Golf presents to us, which have not proved out over the long haul. I don't know how many times I have thought "Ah! This is the final great secret to golf." and done well over a few holes, only to plummet back to reality like Icarus under the heat of competition.

I nudged my ball on towards the hole with a skimming three iron, while John Henry flailed away on the right. It was not possible for his game to get worse, no matter what the trauma, but he seemed sort of dazed. So it was necessary for us both to take third shots before J.D. had his second. He waited in the fairway ahead of us, like the Colossus of Rhodes facing the green, indifferent to our puny struggles.

When it was his turn, I was struck again by the placidity of his stroke and the its power. As if he had been tutored for years by Zen masters on the means to release his inner strength. The ball flew straight again, in an impossibly high parabola. It's hard to tell sometimes from 160 yards away, but the ball appeared to hit the flag stick on the first bounce and drop dead.

Once again he strode off down the fairway, leaving us to our own devices. We crept up to the green like supplicants as he studied his putt. He waited patiently while we fumbled around and then tapped in his six-footer with nonchalance.

He had not spoken since the Tenth tee, and he did not speak now; he merely gestured, "Follow me."

On the par three Twelfth, John Henry attempted to re-assert control. "You can put that club back in the bag, now," he said, "I reckon you have shown you can hit from the men's tee."

J.D. looked down his nose at John Henry like he was someone giggling while Arnold Palmer was putting, "I'll be pressing that bet, now." With a glacial backswing he hit another 160 yard seven iron that backed up all the way from the rear of the green past the hole. That was good for another tap-in birdie. J.D. raised an eyebrow and pointed a shoulder at the next tee, then left.

No matter how well one plays on a public course, ordinarily, a crowd will not develop. In this case, however, the Thirteenth fairway and tee abut the road to the western entrance to the club, and there were cars coming and going. Now, as the committee has already recognized, it was not J.D.'s superior play that caused the first car to stop, but rather the way that he stood on the tee like Cortez squinting into the vista before him -- a wide-open expanse of fairway that had always allowed J.D. to give free reign to his slice. I am sure that this time, though, that J.D. was looking for the optimal patch of grass to land on. While I offered him his driver, which he took absent-mindedly, I noticed that now there were three cars parked off the road, near the tee.

"I presume you'll be pressing, now," said J.D.

"No, I am not," rejoined John Henry.

"Well, then, I will. How else are you going to get your money back?"

"But, but, that's, let's see, 4 -- 8 -- 16 -- THIRTY-TWO DOLLARS!" cried John Henry. He turned a conspicuous shade of green, and a certain barnyard redolence heretofore unnoticeable about his person became more obvious.

"Yes, very good, John Henry," said J.D. mildly and once again he waggled and whooshed, as if he had grabbed the club in a mid-circle that had always existed and will always exist. This ball had a much lower trajectory, say 75 feet in the air or so, with a compensating roll. The scorecard says 350 yards to the green on that hole, and all I can tell you is that J.D.'s second shot was with a putter.

Generally, we speak of the yips only in a putting context, but something similar afflicted John Henry at this point. He took his stance, but could not swing at the ball; he just stood there with spittle on the corner of his mouth. Eventually, he made a palsied attempt that rolled about 150 yards down the fairway. J.D. took off down the fairway, followed by his gallery of 18 people or so, from the six cars now parked on the road.

The last I saw of John Henry Firk, he was slinking down the West Road back towards the parking lot. "Does this mean you concede?" I hollered, but he did not acknowledge me at all.

Now I presume that what the committee's actual objection, aside from the fact that J.D. was partially disrobed, relates to the damage done to the course by the gallery at this unscheduled exhibition. That's fair enough, but you cannot deny that his golf was of the highest caliber. Anytime anyone sees a crowd wandering around a golf course, or hears their audible appreciation of the spectacle, that person will be attracted to join the crowd. That is simple psychology. There were 30 members of the entourage by the time we reached the green. When J.D.'s Texas Wedge failed to drop, the mass disappointment was keen enough to be heard back at the club house, which drew more interested parties. The crowd's gratification at his third tap-in birdie in a row emptied the bar.

I had driven on Thirteen, but I never took my second shot. I was reduced to the role of the caddy. I could never have played so publicly, but J.D. was oblivious. Walking to the Fourteenth tee, he signed several autographs.

Only I was privy to his inner most emotions; only I had seen how many times on Fourteen J.D. had sliced out onto Highway 6. Those were massive drives themselves, though misguided. Today, however, he heeded neither the water on the left nor the fairway bunkers on the right. I feared that he had actually driven the lake on the right, normally not in play, but he had drawn this ball away from the water. What was amazing to me was not the 300 yard drives, but the control J.D. exhibited, especially on his approaches. It was impossible for him to have more confidence now than he had had with the first stroke, but I could see the satisfaction in his eyes growing with every shot.

The wild appreciation of his fourth tap-in birdie was mere prelude to the orgy of celebration at the Fifteenth, where he eagled the long par five.

The par four Sixteenth challenged J.D. only by its short length with the water guarding the green coming into play. J.D. cunningly laid up with a 220 yard 5-iron, then hit a 115 yard half-wedge dead to the pin.

Since the consensus of the crowd now numbering over 200 was that another tap-in birdie was a foregone conclusion, many stampeded over to get ring-side positions at the green at the par three Seventeenth. They sensed that something historical was in the offing.

Nor were they disappointed. Two hundred collective breaths were held as J.D. began his backswing. Two hundred pairs of eyes noted the serendipity which was joined that moment between form and opportunity as the ball flew in the air with the inexorable, awesome inevitability of an eclipse. Two hundred throats gave voice to their wonder as the ball landed, checked, released and trickled into the cup.

The bedlam surrounding the green prevented us from retrieving his ball, so we left it and proceeded directly to Eighteen. Short of the tee, there stood an officious little man with such a puckered, pained expression one might think his lemonade wasn't keeping him regular.

"What is the meaning of this?" he demanded.

"Just playing a little golf, Marshal," I explained, "We have been going a little slow because of the crowd and all, but we'll pick it up."

"Look at the mess they're making: the flags from the back nine are all missing and some of them are cutting pieces of turf out of Seventeen! You're going to have to discontinue your round and leave the course," he said, "And you," pointing to J.D., "had better close your barn door!"

J.D. remained regally aloof, oblivious to these imprecations. Meanwhile, the crowd became aware of the Marshal's intent.

"Let him play," cried out one voice. "Go away. Let him play" responded a chorus, which was picked up as an anthem by the throng: "Go away. Let him play. Go away. Let him play. Go away. Let him play." while the press of humanity separated us from the Marshal and carried us to the tee, where they made an artificial amphitheatre for J.D. to drive. I could see the Marshal fighting to get through, without any luck.

Eighteen is a long par four dogleg with a large lake guarding the green. J.D. pulled his 3-iron, waggled like the Pontiff dispensing benedictions and scorched a bullet about 240 yards, just short of the water. We all proceeded down the fairway, J.D. accepting the adulation of the crowd like the Messiah on Palm Sunday.

When J.D. reached his ball, I handed him his 9-iron. The crowd fell silent when he addressed his ball. As he made his backswing, a hand reached into his inviolate space and grabbed the club.

"I told you to leave the course, you filthy exhibitionist! Now zip up your pants and w-a-a-a-u-g-h. . . . ." the Marshal screamed as the crowd swallowed him back up. J.D.'s club spat back out as if an indigestible. I could see only a terrible roiling and convulsing amongst the members of the gallery. A seething clot migrated over to the edge of the lake and the Marshal was disgorged with a very satisfying splash. Hoots of derision and catcalls followed the Marshal as he swam towards the clubhouse, away from the crowd, waded ashore and hastily disappeared.

J.D. watched all this with dispassion. When the spectacle ended, he turned to the ball and calmly laid the ball dead to the pin. With the crowd still cavorting all around the green, he tapped the ball in.

And so, ladies and gentlemen, it would be extremely unfair to hold J.D. and myself responsible for souveniring which took place. As for the damage done to the course by the crowd trampling the fairway, we must also be held blameless. And as far as the injuries to the course Marshal, both J.D. and I express sympathy but accept no responsibility.

As to the charges of public nudity, if that's what you are calling it, I ask for each of you men to consider whether you would have done any different. J.D. says for himself, he will play no longer "en deshabille", since the physical consequences are too severe: the sunburn he got that day has proved inconvenient to the point of interfering with his social life and his other obligations, such as this conference. But I happen to know he has installed a net in his living room, so that he can practice in the privacy of his own home.

Prazky Pohar Chodu Prvni

2011-07-16T07:58:00.002-07:00

Prague Cup Round 1

Round 1 at Golf Club Praha,

Round 2 at Hodkovicke

Round 3 at Hostivar

Have to play all three rounds, I’m not sure about the scoring . . .

At GCP, they demoted me to B-Flight, my handicap has soared to 18.1, so natcherly, after a 3 week layoff, I play my best golf in 2 years . . . 8 pars, 7 bogeys, 3 double bogeys . . . no birdies or blow up holes, 42-39=81, 46 stableford points, so I win the B-flight, easily, and they lower my handicap to 15.1, which ought to put me out of my misery for awhile. . . 8^D . . . (in the A-flight) . . .

I’m just not sure how we’re competing in these three tournaments, in flights, or all-in-one, or what? That is, if I’m in the B-flight with the 15 handicap? Or I’m in two different flights for the Prazky Pohar? Can’t wait to see what happens . . . no way will I play so well again this year . . . 8^D . . . played the par 5s +1, the par 4s +7, and the par 3s +3 . . . had 3 3putts and just a bunch of 1putts, can’t count ‘em all . . .2 sandy pars . . . used the same ball all day, never hit a provisional . . . foozled one 3wood tee shot on #7 . . . the greens were running +2 for the normal stimpmeter, I assess, which is all to the good for me . . . I can get my putts on line, but I have to hit ‘em so hard most of the time to get ‘em to the hole I pull & push a lot when I start pressing . . .

My prize was amazing . . . a cigar cozy, with two pipes in it, one for a cigar and the other for my Armagnac . . . I mean, it made me tear up it was such a good prize . . .

So I will play my ass off in the next two tournaments, but I really think I have no chance to win now . . . I won’t play this well again this year, is my experience, to have all my game components working at the same time . . . 8^D . . .but it’ll be fun to be among the leaders going into the next round . . . 8^D . . .

R&A drops

2011-07-15T21:34:00.001-07:00

Mr Science expounds from our shared Calvinistic POV:

Did you see the Open Championship? On 18 today, Rickie Fowler hit it into the tent to the right of the fairway. Between the tent and the ropes is an area where the fans can stand, and two fences. The tent, of course (officially a "grandstand"), is an obstruction, but so is everything on the outside of the inner fence. So he got a free drop.

They had marked off 11 drop zones along the front of the grandstand, with a blue pole halfway between each pair of adjacent drop zones. The drop zones are mandatory, and you must drop in the closest one. Period. They forgot the usual "no nearer the hole". So Rickie advanced the ball about 20 more yards and took his free drop. The ball rolled even closer to the hole, and that was OK, too. (Azinger wanted to know if the extra 20 yards would count in his driving distance stats.)

He hit it to the left of the green, in a closely mown area. It's the British Open, so anyone within 60 yards of the hole and not in tall grass or a bunker uses his putter. Rickie had a sprinkler head in the way. Since the sprinkler was within two club lengths of the green, and his ball was within two club lengths of the sprinkler, he got a free drop. At the nearest point of relief. Not within a club length, just drop at the nearest point. He was ready to drop on the left side of the sprinkler, when he noticed that the cut of the rough was such that he would have less long grass to putt through, and more short grass to the right. He looked at the official, and pointed to the right side of the sprinkler, and that's where he ended up dropping. His putt missed the sprinkler by at least a foot, so I guess the nearest "point" is a pretty big thing, besides being of indeterminate location. The head rules official was in the announce booth throughout this, explaining it all, and showed no signs of embarrassment.

I suppose this is the difference between British and Scottish.

GolfGate

2011-06-19T08:28:00.001-07:00

I had formed the opinion many years ago that the problem with U.S. presidents in the Modern Era was that they were all dog lovers rather than cat fanciers; the deep-seated psychological need for the slathering loyalty of their aides, typical of dogs, rather than for the independence typical of cats, led, I felt, to an unhealthy state of mind in which these presidents believed the nonsense urged upon them by their sycophantic acolytes and treated any dissent as treason.

Now I have a different idea, more fitting in its metaphorical allusions and more accurate in its telling nuances: the nadirs of American political life have coincided with the incumbency of golf-less presidents.

Eisenhower, of course, of golf course, was mad for the game. Undoubtedly, that is why the 50s are known as the Good Old Days.

Kennedy complained bitterly, and unreasonably, I think, about the spike marks Ike left in the teak-wood flooring in the White House. Athletic as he was, I am sure JFK usually begged off of any invitations with some lame excuse about his bad back; that is, he gave the appearance of a golf-playing president, but in actuality, he was not, being more pre-occupied by other indoor diversions. I am just as sure that the recent detrimental revisions of the image of the Camelot presidency reflect this duplicity.

Neither Johnson nor Nixon golfed, really, the idea is ludicrous. These alone are enough to establish the prima facie case to anyone but the most biased observer. Johnson loved only politics and Nixon loved that most execrable of all sports, pro football. Both of these men would have improved their characters by acquainting themselves with the self-regulating nature of golf. It can hardly be denied that the course of history would be different if either of these men had had an ounce of restraint, or humility . . .

Ford played golf. One has to contemplate the agency of Richard Nixon which has been indirectly responsible for imposing the two worst golfers in political history, Ford and Spiro Agnew, upon the American Public. Still, Ford rendered an Everyman quality to every Presidential Round that had a certain healing effect on the country that was very necessary at the time.

Carter did not play, and there is ample evidence his character would have benefited from the experience, but of course, that is true of all powerful men, and especially, dog lovers. The leavening of the soul with humility imposed on the golfer would have improved all of these presidents, introducing to each of their consciousnesses the concept that they might fail through the intervention of no one else, mortal or divine, but only through their own frailty. But of course, Carter, more than any of the others, needed to experience the sheer diversion of golf, which can render all else unimportant.

Reagan did not play, and anyone who has seen him chop wood would know why: his stroke is entirely inappropriate to the game. Aside from the fresh-air exercise which the Gipper would certainly have enjoyed, the mental exercise in remembering his correct score would have pleased the whole country.

Bush and Clinton both play golf, true enough, so it is important to draw the correct conclusion from the evidence: how the the presidential golfer scores is not as important as how he plays. While we would like to see a slow backswing and a balanced, full follow-through rather than a tense, quick half-swing, what is most important is what kind of playing partner does he make. Can he be trusted in the deep rough, or will he resort to Nixonian footwedges? Is his score honest, or is it the result of Reaganesque absentmindedness and disarming sandbaggery? Is he a good fellow, or is he prone to Carter-like enforcement of obscure rules that will cost strokes?

One of the enduring images of the War to Restore Kuwaitian Sovereignty remains that of Bush playing golf during the early days of the crisis, rather than "being a captive of the Oval Office". Although this caused a great deal of negative commentary at the time, to be true to my newly formed political theory, I must come down on the positive side. To a certain degree these apocalyptic events are inevitable, anyway, and sometimes, there only just so much the Leader of the Free World can do.

This calls to mind a conversation from the golf stories of P.G. Wodehouse in which The Oldest Member of the Club instructs a wayward youth who has fallen from the wholesome companionship of golfers into the bad company of lawn bowlers. Defending himself, the youth points out that Sir Walter Raleigh delayed his defense against the attack of the Spanish Armada long enough to finish a game of lawn bowling. To which the Oldest Member replies, "If he had golfed instead, he never would have launched the defense at all."

At this point in history, it is fruitless to conjecture as to the value of the War, but it might be worthwhile speculating on what unknown disasters were averted by the happenstance of Bush being on vacation at the time. Who knows what rash actions were averted, possibly a premature attempt at a land war.

What triggers these ruminations is the speculation in the press concerning the reunion of Bush and Quayle at the Doug Sanders Seniors Classic at Kingwood lately.{circa 1993 if my memory serves me well, which is more-and-more unlikely I have come to find - author} There is a widely held misconception that this is a first.

Not many people were aware of the round Bush and Quayle played with Clinton and Gore at the Burning Bush Country Club prior to the election, in an attempt to elevate the election partisanship from a full-contact sport. Unfortunately, it had the exact opposite effect; in fact, the most vitriolic repartee in the closing days of the campaign can be directly traced to that match.

We know about this match, which was played on one of the most exclusive private clubs in the Washington area, only due to the fact that in addition to the secret service agents, Ross Perot supporters had infiltrated the caddy ranks.

From the first tee, it was clear that as a social, rapport-building event the match was a failure. Bush and Qualye sliced into the right rough; Clinton and Gore hooked into the left rough. They would play that way most of the day, meeting only on greens and tees.

This was a two-man scramble, match-play, for leadership of the only true superpower left in the world. Needless to say, it got uglier and uglier.

On the second hole, Clinton was overheard complaining about slow play in a pointed manner.

At the third green Quayle felt called upon to wonder to himself out loud why some people were so busy fixing invisible ball marks while he was trying to putt.

On the fourth tee, Gore compared Bush's swing to the way his Grandma flipped hotcakes.

On the fifth fairway, Bush commented in a very sarcastic manner about the miraculous nature of a Clinton recovery shot, from behind a tree in deep rough.

On the sixth green, Clinton questioned Quayle's shot count.

On the seventh fairway, Quayle asked Gore if it was really necessary to repair every divot he came across. Gore told Quayle to widen his stance a little bit so that maybe he would not take so much turf with every swing. Quayle told Gore then that maybe he should carry Quayle's clubs, so that it would be legal when he gave advice. Gore pointed out that the caddy might manage the weight of Quayle's bag better if there were only 14 clubs.

So tensions were flaring a bit at that point in time, possibly because in addition to the natural antipathy felt by the teams, the Democrats were leading 3 holes to 1, giving rise to just the smallest bit of smug condescension to color their demeanor, while the Republicans were seething in discontent.

You may well wonder how the Dems could lead the Reps, when Quayle is widely acknowledged as the best striker in Washington. Unfortunately, Bush insisted on playing his drives, even when they were 50 yards shorter than Quayle's. This would have been bad enough were they winning, but they were losing and Quayle bridled at this faulty strategy. Bush also insisted his drives were in the middle or on the right, even when he had hooked it to the left, which only increased Quayle's aggravation.

Of course, the players expected a certain amount of partisanship, which up to a point, gratifies the competitive spirit in a gentlemanly way. But no one anticipated that the simmering ambitions of the Vice-Presidential nominees would surface in open conflict with the bottled-up insecurities of the Presidential candidates.

So it was a surprise when Gore chose the Eighth Tee as the place to suggest a more upright stance and a fuller follow-through to Clinton. Nobody takes golf advice well, although a duffer will suffer in silence the critique of his club pro; but nobody wants to hear swing corrections in the middle of round. Clinton's silent reproof as he surveyed his foozle short of the women's tee apparently caused Gore to top his own ball, several times.

So they both looked as if they were practicing for the Easter Egg Roll on the White House Lawn.

Perhaps it was less of a shock that Quayle finally exploded on the Ninth Green, when Bush not only missed a birdie putt to win the hole, but knocked it 15 feet passed the hole. As the old scottish pro said to explain his own oaths, the provocation was great; still, the relative informality of the golf course does not give one leave to refer to the First Golfer as a "wrong handed, long-handled yippie", a term which seemed to have political connotations to Bush.

Presidential recriminations never reflect well on either party, as when a snarling Nixon shoved a snivelling Zieglar, or when an imperial Kennedy snubbed an ingratiating Johnson, but neither of those public slights could match the vicious malice of Bush handing Quayle his putter with a newly hinged faux-Medicus shaft.

It was a surly lot that trudged up to the halfway house. In a tragic attempt to knit up the ravelled ends of the game, Gore made an offer to buy the drinks. Quayle ventured that he would have an Old Granddad on the rocks and pointedly ignoring the glare from Bush, said "Make it a Double". Clinton opted for a Strip-and-Go-Naked, of course, Bush ordered a neat single-malt and Gore got a fizzy mineral water for himself.

The trouble started up anew when Gore tried to sign for the drinks. This somehow offended the republican pay-as-you-go sensibilities. Both Quayle and Bush reached for their wallets. While Gore protested, Clinton ordered another drink and told the bartender to add it to the tab. When Bush made an unguarded aside about "Drink and Spend Democrats", Clinton responded with an unchecked flurry of imputations of Republican deficit accounting on the golf course. Only the solid intervention of the club secretary at that crucial minute prevented a real donnybrook. At his direction, after consulation with the head pro, both parties were excused from the course.

In the lesser sports, there is no stigma to being asked to leave the field: in hockey, such an invitation is an extremely transient inconvenience; in basketball, it is often the badge of complete effort or total desire; in baseball, it is often seen as a necessary and desirable response to the inadequacies of the umpiring staff; in football, disqualification simply does not occur. In auto-racing, being waved off the track is more likely due to equipment failure than as discipline for unsportsmanlike driving.

But even these men, hardened by years in politics against any form of sensitivity, recognized the shame of their eviction. Which is why till now the bi-partisan cover-up of "Golf-Gate" has been so complete and successful.

Golfing With US Presidents Article in Town&Country Magazine

2011-06-19T06:47:00.000-07:00

Golf is the unofficial game of the American presidency. In the century

since William Howard Taft became the first golf aficionado

to live in the White House, only three of 18 presidents—Hoover,

Truman, and Carter—have chosen not to play the gilded game. And when

Congressional Country Club, in Bethesda, Maryland, hosts the U.S. Open

golf championship this month for the third time (it was there in 1964

and 1997), the event will serve as a reminder that golf remains one of the

capital’s favorite pastimes for flesh-pressing.

Golf fans will likely presume that Congressional

is suspending for a single week the usual dealbrokering

by politicos. But in fact the capital’s

power games are played at a number of marquee

area courses: the East Potomac Golf Course in

DC, where Joe Biden enjoys teeing off; the secretive

TPC Potomac at Avenel Farm, in Maryland, a

tough track that’s the choice of so many legislator-golfers that a 2004 Senate

vote had to be delayed until GOP senators finished a round; and Burning

Tree, the country club of the capital old guard, which counts House

Speaker John Boehner as a member . . . .

you’ll have to buy the magazine to see the whole article . . . but BTW, that reminds me of a story . . .

Presidential Golf

2011-06-15T05:37:00.000-07:00

But no sport touches as many presidents as golf. Congressional alone boasts five former presidents — Herbert Hoover, William Howard Taft, Woodrow Wilson, Warren G. Harding and Calvin Coolidge — as founding life members, though Hoover wasn’t a player. That puts him in odd company among presidents since the turn of the 20th century: Only Hoover, Harry Truman and Jimmy Carter weren’t golfers, though not all who played were equally enamored of it. Wilson famously described golf as “an ineffectual attempt to put an elusive ball into an obscure hole with implements ill-adapted to the purpose,” a quote that endures in many iterations.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/golf/us-open-golf-is-a-bipartisan-game-for-washingtons-politicians/2011/06/12/AG8qNZTH_story.html?hpid=z9

DaBell, Burbank

2011-06-09T03:59:00.002-07:00

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/jacketcopy/2011/06/burbank-debell-golf-course-library-cuts.html

The 18-hole "De Bell" course at the DeBell Golf Club facility in Burbank, California features 5,633 yards of golf from the longest tees for a par of 71 . The course rating is 68.8 and it has a slope rating of 114 on Kikuyu grass. Designed by William F. Bell, ASGCA/William H. Johnson, ASGCA/(R) Richard Bigler, the De Bell golf course opened in 1959.

http://www.worldgolf.com/golf-architects/william-f-bell.html

William F Bell also did in PHX:

Encanto Muni

Marwale ?

Papago Muni

Not to be confused with William P Bell, who did in PHX

Adobe at Arizona Biltmore Resort

Encanto, also

but, of course, there is a lot of overlap . . .

http://www.sandiego.gov/park-and-recreation/golf/torreypines/about/bells.shtml

GolfYachtCZ

2011-05-13T01:56:00.000-07:00

http://golfyacht.cz/en/home

Irish Caddy

2011-04-29T06:08:00.001-07:00

A Golfer has been slicing off the tee on every hole. He asks his Irish caddy if he has noticed any obvious reasons for his poor tee shots, to which the caddy replies:

"Aye, there's a piece of shi+ on the end of your driver."

The Golfer picks up his driver and cleans the club face, at which point the caddy says: "No, the other end."

Goddard State Park, East Greenwich RI

2011-04-27T16:56:00.001-07:00

3032 yds, Par36, Slope 111

hardened by my exposure to the mediocre in Greece, I tho't it would do me no harm to play a round with my grandson, The Babe, on a little 9-hole course close-at-hand . . . I don't think he has the game or attention span, yet, to weather 18 holes . . . so I passed up the Donald Ross treasure till another visit . . .

One has wondered what kind of clubs one would get at such a place, and now one knows:

First of all, those are women's wood-woods . . . I could hit the driver somewhat . . . on #4, I pureed my drive 200 yds . . . 8^) . . . but that mud-daubed 3wood betrayed me everytime I pulled it out of the bag . . . felt funny, unresponsive, like a wife with a secret grievance, if you know what I mean . . . no 5 iron, but the 6iron had a graphite shaft; when I tried to hit it, it felt like the head spun around the shaft and the ball scuttled off left about 50 yds . . .then The Babe said, that club head looked like it spun around in a circle! I didn't mind the clubs, per se, for this course, losing 1/3 of my distance with such a set made it seem more like real golf, but d-a-a-a-a-a-a-n-g.

The #1 handicap hole is this 301 yd par 4 with a sharp dogleg left . . . I think it's the #1 because the temptation to try to cut the corner over the trees is apparently irresistable to a large percentage of golfers . . .2 of the 4some in front of us were in those woods . . . I tho't maybe that 3wood -- after I'd scraped off the mud -- might loft over the corner off of a tee, but instead I hit a line drive that bounced off the trees back to the edge of the fairway.

look at that bunker sitting right there in front of the green for all the fools cutting the corner . . . I guess the play is to try to drive over to the right side without going into the woods and creek over there, to get a look at the green. I tried to cozy a partial 3iron between the green and the woods, but it came up short . . . ball has a way of settling down in this turf so's getting any clean shot is difficult . . . . that's when I discovered that the PW was a graphite shaft like the 6, but with the head firmly attached . . . totally powered over the green with a half-wedge. short story: 6 double bogey.

I hate to make it sound like the course has no charms . . . so I include this shot of the par 3 170yd #7. I hit a 3iron not-quite-pin-high. bit right in the rough. I wouldn't mind trying this one again with some better tools . . . but there were duffers all over the place hitting metal shovel woods . . . guess they were going for the Tiger Woods feel of overpowering a course. I'd just like the heads to stay fixed.

Nice walk in the park with my grandson.

Free Golf with a catch, er, a pitch

2011-04-25T11:34:00.002-07:00

Attention Phoenix Area golfers: Free golf and lunch at Gainey Ranch. Must be over 50 and willing to listen to a financial advisor presentation during lunch. Email FreeGaineyGolf@live.com for more details.

If I bring in 3 others, I get free golf and lunch (again) myself.

Yes, if you are willing to listen to a free pitch,

Mr Science is your hook-up, man . .. .

iGolf

2011-04-04T00:50:00.001-07:00

Design in the Rough

2011-04-02T23:09:00.001-07:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/03/business/03tiger.html?hpw

Now, two and a half years later, no dirt has been moved at Punta Brava and Mr. Woods has not visited in some time. His two other designs, in Dubai and near Asheville, N.C., are also troubled; the Dubai course, according to people familiar with the project, has been shelved permanently. The desert sands have started to reclaim the strips of green from the six holes that have been completed. The Asheville project is searching for new financing, and construction has halted until at least this summer. In the nearly five years since Tiger Woods Design was founded, none of the courses have been completed.

It’s a trajectory that mirrors just about every element of Mr. Woods’s life these days: As he enters the Masters tournament beginning on Thursday, his golf game has fallen apart and he is overhauling his swing for the fourth time in his career. The string of affairs that made him tabloid fodder in 2009 and 2010 cost him his marriage, custody of his two young children and the loss of endorsement deals with Accenture, AT&T and Gatorade.

Golf Tournament

2011-03-31T00:08:00.001-07:00

Recently I was asked to play in a golf tournament.

At first I said, 'Naaahhh!'

Then they said to me 'Come on, it's for handicapped and blind Kids.'

Then I thought...

Damn - I could win this!

OUCH!

2011-03-31T00:04:00.002-07:00

For all you golfers take warning.
Playing one of those desert courses in the upper Scottsdale area near Cave Creek.
Tries to play his second shot while off balance on a steep incline.
Naturally, he swings too hard and falls backwards into the cactus.
It took paramedics over 3 hours to pull the spines out before he could go in an ambulance to the hospital. He should have taken a “drop”!!!!

RR Donnelly Founders Cup, Day 3

2011-03-22T09:10:00.001-07:00

Mr Science Reports:

I kept score today for

Morgan Pressel http://www.lpga.com/player_results.aspx?id=5431

Kyeong Bae http://www.lpga.com/player_results.aspx?id=5405 .

Both started the day at -3, and Morgan shot 68 to finish T7 and win some money for her Foundation. KB had 71 and was T13. KB had some sort of iPad or something built into her golf bag. Check it out on the link above.

It was an exciting finish.

Angela Stanford http://www.lpga.com/player_results.aspx?id=107 started the day at -12 with a 3 shot lead, after two 66's, but stumbled to a 75.

Paula Creamer http://www.lpga.com/player_results.aspx?id=3438 birdied 8 of her last 14 holes, shot 31 on the back nine, and finished at 66 and -11, taking the lead in the clubhouse (which Morgan had held).

Karrie Webb http://www.lpga.com/player_results.aspx?id=200 shot 66 and finished at -12.

Brittany Lincicome http://www.lpga.com/player_results.aspx?id=3465 was in the last group and came to 18 needing a par to force a playoff with Karrie. She's not a scoreboard-watcher, and had no idea where she stood until she got to the green. She hit her approach short and her chip long, and made bogey. She had one other bogey in the tournament, on the 6th hole Friday.

Cristie Kerr http://www.lpga.com/player_results.aspx?id=127 was also among the leaders, and ended up 4th. She had received the Muhammed Ali Award for Sports Achievement on Saturday night, presented by The Greatest himself. http://thegolfgirl.blogspot.com/2011/03/cristie-kerr-honored-at-celebrity-fight.html

Morgan was there, and during the round was explaining to KB who Muhammed Ali is. Lee Greenwood was there, and Morgan was talking about how she got chills listening to him sing "God Bless the USA".

Morgan is fun to be with. She's not a long hitter by tour standards, 2nd longest in her twosome today, but on the 15th hole (one of two where they measure the drives) she hit it past KB, 258 yards, about 15 past her normal shot. The 15th is a par 5, and when Cactus Dave and I played it from the back tees it was 607 yards, but for the tournament they played from 485. As we walked up to their balls, both in the fairway, I said loudly enough for the gallery to hear "Nice shot, long-ball", and Morgan smiled and made a muscle for the crowd.

Then she hit one of her best shots of the day, onto the green. She was quite pleased with herself, and said that didn't happen very often.

On 14, a par 3, Morgan had hit her tee shot about 2 inches from where the previous day's cup had been cut. She pointed it out to her caddy. The 15th green is about 40 yards deep, and the pin was in the back. Morgan's ball was on the front, about 10 feet from where Saturday's pin had been. As we walked up, I told her she was going to be close to yesterday's pin placement again, and she said "Thanks for reminding me. That's about the 4th time today."

On every tee there is water, gatorade, and soda for the pros, if they want something to drink. So when we crossed the street between holes, where some neighborhood kids had set up a lemonade stand, Morgan went over to buy a cup of lemonade. A few holes later, as we were waiting to tee off, she signed three gloves and gave them to 3 kids in the gallery. I have had very pleasant times with other players, and there are many who, like Morgan, realize that they have the best job in the world, and they do things to express their appreciation to their fans and volunteers. Maybe some of them bought lemonade from those kids. Surely some of them tossed a ball to a fan from time to time, and some may have even signed a glove for a fan (Phil did it once on TV, but only after he had hit the guy with a golf ball). I've never seen or heard of three at a time, but it could have happened. I know one thing for sure, though, at the volunteer party after the tournament, only one player came by to say thanks to us, and sign autographs, and pose for pictures.

Ms. Pressel is a very special person.

The Art of Scoring vis a vis Mr Science

2011-03-21T12:18:00.001-07:00

Mr Science Reviews:

I finished the book. Didn't get to start on it seriously until I finished another one, about some kid who went camping in the Alaska wilderness, alone, and starved to death.

I can understand why this one wouldn't appeal to you. The passage that struck me was one in which he describes how to hit a 40-yard pitch:

"With your hands in front of you, use your left hand to push the handle of the club toward the ground. That will lift the clubhead into the air, and set your wrists in a great hinge. Now, just let the club fall back to the ground...Add some shoulder turn and a lower-body pivot, let your right elbow slide back along your side in the backswing, turn through impact, and you've got it. It's really that simple."

I can relate to that, in ways that Cactus Dave cannot, just as I can relate to JC Anderson when he says "You can divide the golf swing into 24 basic components, each having between 12 and 15 variations..." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyIxooIeUkk

But, in fairness to Stan, a lot of the book is not about technique, it is about strategy. Not so much how to hit a shot, but what shot to hit, and when. The editing needs work, though, as some of the stories seem to have gotten garbled, or are just unclear. "Scotty hit his tee shot onto the green, but to the wrong tier, leaving himself with a putt that was harder than a basic chip from around the correct tier would have been. He had to read the difference in slope and the strong grain that was coming toward him, and he left the chip way short and on the wrong tier, then three-putted". Let's see, now, tee shot on the green, [first putt goes off the green?], chips back on, 3 putts ... or is it 3 more putts ? 5? 6? OK, maybe it's possible to understand the point of the story anyway, but it's very distracting trying to figure out what poor Scotty did, never mind what he did wrong.

Utley does explain how he hits the basic short game shots (pitch, chip, and putt) in detail, and how to adjust the basic shots in order to play trouble shots. The techniques are basic and sound, some a little different from what most of us were taught, and yet even the Tour players he teaches have had to make adjustments to improve their games. I used one of his tips to hit a shot from deep grass about 8 feet below the level of the green to a downhill, tight pin. I used my sand wedge, and hit it like a bunker shot, going through the grass under the ball. It came out high and soft, landed on the fringe, checked up a little, and rolled down the hill to about 3 feet.

He also spends a lot of time on what shot to hit. From a tight lie around the green, for instance, it's almost always better for a non-scratch golfer to putt rather than chip, because your worst putt is likely to end up closer than a slightly-below-average chip shot. The player should always know where not to miss a shot (another Cactus Dave bugaboo -- he hates it when I point out the OB stakes, or a water hazard, just before he's ready to tee off), and adjust his aim and shot shape accordingly. I think it's probably true that a 20 handicapper could shave 5 shots off his game in less than a week, without changing his swing, by following the advice in this book. And if he's willing to practice a little, and try some of Utley's short game swing techniques, maybe a few more.

RR Donnelly Founder's Cup - Day 2

2011-03-20T00:18:00.001-07:00

Mr Science Reports, again . . .

I kept score today for

Karen Stupples http://www.lpga.com/player_results.aspx?id=559

Wee-Won Han http://www.lpga.com/player_results.aspx?id=161

Song Yi Choi http://www.lpga.com/player_results.aspx?id=18533

All of them were over par yesterday. Hee-Won started out with birdies on the first two holes, but followed with bogies on the next two, and shot 73. Karen had 74, with a 3-putt par and a lot of makeable birdie putts that she didn't make. Song Yi had a very hard day, 79, missing a lot of very short putts. Karen got her name on TV today, first on the list of "notables missing the cut". Otherwise, it was another day of no TV for me or my group.

My assistant standard bearer was Hanna Kyoto Atkins. Her first name is pronounced hah-nah, like the Road to Hanna on Maui. Her father traveled a lot, and named her after two of his favorite places. She lives in Goodyear, in Estrella Mountain Ranch. She's 13, and shoots in the 70's. She plays a fade, but can work the ball both ways. She won't be at the tournament tomorrow because she's playing in an inter-club match for Moon Valley CC, where the LPGA tournament used to be held before it went to Superstition Mountain, and where Annika shot her 59. I'm telling you all this so you'll recognize her in 5 years, when she's on Tour.

Karen is a delight to be with. She has a criss-cross of tape on her right knee, because of some cartilage problems. Hanna asked her about it while two groups were waiting on the 5th tee (someone else in the wash, taking unplayable lies and calling for rulings), and Karen said it was rough where it was supposed to be smooth, and let Hanna touch her knee while she flexed it. Hanna squealed, like only a 13-year-old girl can do, and said "ooh, yuch!", or something to that effect. Karen alllowed as how Hanna probably didn't expect to get that up close and personal with the players today.

After the round, I go into the scorer's tent with the players, and I check their scores as I have recorded them while the marker reads them to the player. Hee-Won started out reading Song Yi's scores. In Korean. When she finished, Song Yi indicated that she agreed, and I said "Right", indicating my agreement as well.

RR Donnelly Founders Cup, Day 1

2011-03-19T00:17:00.002-07:00

Mr Science Reports:

The LPGA is at the Widlfire GC at the Marriott Resort at Desert Ridge. There are two courses there, the Palmer Course and the Faldo Course, and they're using 9 holes of each for the tournament. Not because they chose those holes, but to have a compact location for the tournament, because the two front nines are across the road and these two start and end near the clubhouse. The LPGA commissioner says this tournament will likely be somewhere else next year, but he promises another one for Phoenix, as there are other sponsors interested.
I kept score today for

Aree Song http://www.lpga.com/player_results.aspx?id=258

Louise Friberg http://www.lpga.com/player_results.aspx?id=13714 and

Nicole Hage http://www.lpga.com/player_results.aspx?id=13717

Nicole shot 78, and Louise had 77. Both had a good time, though, and were smiling near the end, although I think Nicole might have said a bad word on #5, after her second unplayable lie on that hole. But, they're playing all for charity this week, no prize money, so it's a bit less stressful than normal.

Nicole plays a pronounced draw on most of her full shots, and it was out of control today. (She reminded me of Cactus Dave's game that way.) It may be out of control most of the time, because her career earnings are just under $25,000 after two years on tour. Sometimes the draw turned into an uncontrolled hook, and she spent a lot of time in the left rough, or the fairway bunker, or a hazard. Other times it went straight, and so she also spent time in the right rough, or fairway bunker, or, as on #5, in a wash. I told her caddy she needed to get control of her hook, and he said if he knew how to do that he wouldn't tell her, he'd be out here playing himself. I really think she could benefit from a close relationship with a good teacher. On #8, our 17th hole, she hit her drive in the left rough, in dormant bermuda grass, with a good lie. There's a lake to the right of the green, and the pin was on the right. She hit the shot out toward the water, and cried out in anguish, but with a little draw, and a little wind, and a good bounce, it ended up on the green, about 12 feet. She laughed and said "I didn't mean to do that", and I said "Yeah, but it was exciting!" She made the birdie putt, and I gave her a fist bump. I hope she finds someone who can help with that hook.

Aree had a better game: 5 birdies, scattered around, and 13 pars. I'd have to say it was the most boring 67 I've ever seen. By contrast, Angela Stanford is leading the tournament with a 66, including a double bogey on 8 and an eagle 2 on 9. Aree had 9 missed birdie putts, the most in the group. 14 GIR and 4 fringies. I don't think she carries a wedge. She hit 10 of 14 fairways, and her misses were all within a couple of feet, never off the overseed.

Superstition Mountain - Prospector course

2011-01-01T07:03:00.001-07:00

Mr Science reports on a Member for a Day promotion . . .

Lucky Dog . . . .

I birdied #2, and parred 9 and 18. In between, occasional streaks of doubles and triples that I attribute to lack of playing.

I thought I knew this course pretty well, having walked it with the pros about a dozen times, but I saw places yesterday that I had never seen before.

It never hit me so much when I was just scoring, but pretty much every green is elevated, and has HUGE bunkers in the front. (Like Jones courses or the Tonto Verde Course or Tatum Ranch). Which makes every $%^# approach shot uphill, and all carry. And we played from the blue tees, 6700 yards, significantly beyond my comfort zone. I was hitting a lot of 3-woods and 7-woods to the par 4's, and ending up in places where up-and-down was no more than a fantasy. (He MUST be rusty . . . he hits 3 & 7 woods like I hit a 9iron, when he’s in practice). The fairways are generally pretty wide, though, despite the visual intimidation from the tees. I think Gary Nicklaus must be related to Gary Panks. (The Estrella Mountain course was a Jackie Nicklaus course, I think, but similarly difficile, if you see what I mean … I ‘d tho’t of the greens as Heckenkeperian rather than Panksian, but after a certain degree of difficulty, it can be hard to say, exactly).

And that "drivable par 4", the 14th? It's 325 yards, but it's almost a 200 yard forced carry to the fairway!!! This is not an easy hole. I had to save 7 there by 3-putting from 12 feet.

They're having a sale on memberships: $15,000 initiation fee, and $635 a month dues. Probably a sale on the houses in the neighborhood, too. I'm sure some of them that could have gone for $1M a few years ago could be had today for half that. They weren't empty, though. I played with 3 Canadians who spend their winters in a trailer park in Mesa, and they said a lot of the houses along the fairways at Gold Canyon looked abandoned.

The place oozes class, though. The clubhouse, the staff, the course conditions, are all outstanding. F A S T greens. No GPS, but the scorecard is marked with the day's pin positions (+9, -3 ...). Clearly a 1 on our scale. (Yeah, based only on my 5 or 6 tours of the course as a scorer, I’d say so . . . after watching Juli Inkster play her ass off a couple of times and wind up even par, I’d have to say this is NOT a very forgiving course).

And they have solved the age-old question about the rake.
Getting this graphic to show up on the blog could be problematic . . . but I’ll do what I can . . . .

Superstition Mountain - Prospector course

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Prospector:

Par 72

Length 7,225 yards

Greens Champion Bermuda Grass

Rating 73.4

Slope 135

The Art of Scoring by Stan Utley

2011-01-01T01:41:00.005-07:00

"Yeh," I said (wrote (emailed)) to Mr Science, "I got this book to review by Stan Utley . . . ".

"WOW!" he interrupted, as only Mr Science can over an email conversation that bridges two continents and 9 time-zones. "He's Great! He's Famous! He's why I count strokes!"

Oh, my sweet lord, I shudda figgered. There ain't enough room on a scorecard for the two of us, for all his hen-scratching . . . so I'll send this book to Mr Science now, where he will treasure it till it is dog-eared with reading and re-reading, whereas for me, as a lost cause, as only such a stubborn know-it-all duffer as myself can be, I would read it and stick it on a book shelf.

I mean, no-doubt, Utley knows whereof he speaks, and he can help those willing to be helped, like Mr Science, who really needs help like Arizona needs day-light-savings time, which is to say, not at all, they have plenty of daylight, even in winter, if you see how I mean . . . but the blizzard of technoalia, like as if, the words would pour over you on the practice range with Mr Utley don't do anything for me . . .that is. I play by feel, that is, I play by how I feel on any given day, and all the tears in the world cannot erase a stroke of it . . .

20 minutes of this and I'll be a basket case -- I'll be weaving baskets instead of playing golf, d'y'see? But Mr Science eats it up, lives on it, swears by it . . . no matter how contradictory, vague, or self-evident, he wants to know and to memorize and to apply it, and in turn, tell everybody else struggling on the golf course ... 8^D ... myself, I go to the other end of the green, stick my fingers in my ears, and sing la-la-la-la loud enough to drown him out till somebody hits into us on the green, trying to hurry us up.

the one thing about Mr Science that bugged me, aside from the way he always hits inside my ball from further out on the fairway . . . 8^0 . . .was how long he would take to putt . . . I mean: nevermind all the breaches of golf etiquette that plague us in these yellow days of debauchery and gauchery, the dude, and I suspect it was not Utley but some predecessor, that sold the world on extended pre-shot routines did us all the Ultimate non-favor, at least those of us interested in 3 hour rounds instead of 5. Mr Science is one of those, the thing is, tho', he makes so many of those putts he studies over you can't say anything, cuz, He Made It. You can't argue with success. So I settle for drinking and club-throwing. . . 8^P . . .

But then he says things like this that I can totally get behind...

How one is to perform all that pre-putt routine without trying too is a mystery to me, but I'm sure Mr Science Groks it . . . heck the whole world prob'ly groks it, except me. .. 8^/ ...

So if you're of a scientific bent to your green-side manner, then this is the book for you. Its not for me, a by-feel-duffer, but that says more about me than the book, if you see what I mean, but strictly book-wise, one has to comment on the graphics in the book, which must be among the poorest-quality ever foisted upon the gullible golfing public . . . if a good picture is worth a 1000 words then these would fall into the lesser ratio of say 200 or 300 words, if you see what I mean. As I say, Utley effuses words like a fire-hydrant, so maybe the equation is supposed equal out thataway.

I mean, these pictures have suffered thru my scan & post process, but I put a little work into making them as close to the appearance in the book as possible -- I don't think Utley did himself, his message, or the reader any favor with them.

At the end of the book is an excellent summary of his points . . . you really have to have understood the previous chapters, I reckon, to benefit from this summary, but he recommends it as a practice agenda, too, which ought to be the key to getting any improvement from the practice area to the golf course.

Wisdom

2010-11-20T11:10:00.001-07:00

THE STACK AND TILT SWING: The Definitive Guide to the Swing that is Remaking Golf

2010-11-10T04:52:00.004-07:00

by Michael Bennett and Andy Plummer,

Gotham Books (Pendant Publishing)

By the time any golfer becomes “of a certain age” he’s heard every golf theory at least twice and as many contradictory opinions, so that despair and resignation are often the result. I myself find that not only would actual golf lessons make my game worse with the myriad of picayune swing thoughts imposed on me, but even should my eye fall casually upon one of the instruction articles in a golf magazine, I lose three strokes to par.

So then, the casual, uncomplicated (not to say, simplistic) approach of The Stack & Tilt swing seems like a very new idea. Although there may be some scientific foundation to it, the breezy message conveyed in their book is a duffer-friendly, conversational approach.

Right away, they give you their fundamentals, which are unlike fundamentals offered by other teachers . . . the common-sense and plain language seems like a shortcut to mediocrity to those of us inculcated in the esoterica of modern golf theory, but Stack & Tilt offers endorsements and explanations from various pros that tend to dispel that misconception . . . it is a whole new way of thinking about the swing, and it is controversial, but the rationale is very compelling.

Their learning method is so heavily skewed towards improving the golfer that it seems completely within his grasp – possible – unlike the “normal” instruction full of unique nomenclature and seemingly impossible gyrations. This sample training lesson – a 30 minute progression – illustrates their plain talk.

Scattered throughout the theoretical point-by-point discussions are some real-life testimonials from pros that re-inforce and illustrate what the authors are getting at.

Should I have given the impression that this is a light-weight, superficial training method, I include this tidbit to savor, a sample of what expertise lies ahead for the master of the basic training . . .

So, if conventional golf instruction has left your game unimproved – or even dis-improved! – Stack & Tilt will be worth investigating . . . it is so far outside-the-box that some of the fundamentals they teach are in fact recognized as swing flaws in those traditional methodologies.

RE: Complimentary golf long ball champion videos, swing tips

2010-11-09T11:21:00.001-07:00

From one of Mr Science's Connecticut golf buddies, Hugh:

Too much information, TOO MUCH INFORMATION !!!

I can sum it up in one phrase:

Low and slow, throw the toe !!!

Hugh

Too good and too true not to blog . . .

Complimentary golf long ball champion videos, swing tips

2010-11-08T01:40:00.001-07:00

Mr Science says . . .

I watched all 3 videos. Nothing I didn't already know, deep down, but perhaps some help in implementing.

_____________________________________________________________________
GolfCpons.com and OffthetheFringe.com are pleased to introduce our member golfer/subscribers
to an invitation from Eric Jones, PGA Pro and World Long Drive Champion...Complimentary training videos

Everybody wants to hit the ball farther … including me.

I asked my friend, World Long Ball Champion and PGA Pro Eric Jones if he could share some of his video tips with GolfCpons.com and Off the Fringe members/subscribers.

He has graciously accomodated..check them out, you will like them. I did.

Erice has some pretty interesting ideas to share about hitting it long.

How expert is he?

He's a PGA Pro with a Masters degree in Sport Psychology. And a World Long Drive Champion. I was just talking with him while he's at his 8th consecutive Long Drive Championship appearance in Mesquite, NV. He knows distance, and he knows the golf swing.

His name is Eric Jones, and he's put together some very informative videos on getting more distance. It'll be worth your time to watch them.

Click on this link to watch "Driving it Longer is a Skill, and You Can Learn It."

There are links to a couple more videos there as well for you to watch. You'll like them. And they're complimentary.

Check out the video on "Driving it longer is a Skill." If you leave a comment or question, he'll answer.

Best regards,

Bob

PS - Almost forgot to mention - he's GIVING AWAY advance chapters of his forthcoming book "Strategic Golf: The 3 Keys to Scoring." Make sure you download these chapters before they go away on Monday. These are jewels!
Download here.

If you do not wish to receive future Off the Fringe newsletters or golf specials, please touch here.
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Robert Hagge

2010-10-27T00:12:00.000-07:00

Big fan of Robert Hagge http://www.vonhagge.com/intro.htm

But I’ve always heard he was a difficult person, er, in person . . .

He never gets mentioned with the Tier 1 course designers, which is unfair. The quality of the list of his courses just in Texas is mind-blowing:

Walden On Lake Conroe http://www.waldengolf.com/walden.html

Crown Colony in Lufkin http://www.crown-colony.com/

TPC Woodlands http://www.thewoodlandscc.com/fw/main/The_East_Course-1601.html

The Cliffs on Possum Kingdom http://www.thecliffsresort.com/Leisure/Golf.aspx

But, again, his association with Bruce Devlin is not mentioned at all in this article, which is indicative of the falling out they had, after collaborating on these amazing designs.

Playing on these courses totally shaped my POV on course design and the Essence of Golf: A von Hagge / Devlin course has no dud holes – there may be sleepers – but every hole is interesting & challenging.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/sports/glf/7265654.html

Robert von Hagge's golf courses a lasting legacy

Creations keep his memory alive

By TODD HVEEM
Copyright 2010 For the Chronicle

Oct. 26, 2010, 10:52PM

Close [X]

Golf course architect Robert von Hagge may have died earlier this month, but his accomplishments live on as legendary landmarks.

"Robert von Hagge had a charismatic aura that shone upon everyone who knew him," said von Hagge's friend and brother-in-law Ron Randall. "He was a brilliant artist and a generous and caring human being who made everyone he came into contact with a better person.

"Robert had such presence and charm. You could listen to his stories indefinitely because they were filled with such humor and often celebrities. He wasn't a name dropper, it just so happened they were people he was associated with."

Von Hagge, who was a member at Northgate Country Club, designed more than 250 golf courses in 16 countries, including the Tournament Course at The Woodlands Country Club, site of last week's Administaff Small Business Classic.

Les Bordes a masterpiece

curves, hooks, & slices

2010-10-25T22:26:00.001-07:00

I like to send Mr Science mind-candy when I find it on the web …

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=130777556

but Mr Science Says:

They're making a convoluted scenario out of a high-school geometry problem.

The path of the ball is a simple circular curve. It doesn't "fall off the table" at the end, it simply continues accelerating in the same direction at the same rate.

Consider a circular automobile race track. You stand just outside the outer wall watching cars go by. As a car comes into your view, almost 90 degrees away around the circle, it is traveling straight toward a point off to your left, like the curve ball (or fast ball) just released by the pitcher. In fact, you can't tell if that car is going to stay on the track, or hit the wall because it fails to hold the curve.

As the car gets closer to you, you begin to see that it is in fact turning, and will stay on the track. It's not moving much sideways, but still coming closer very quickly, and is now coming straight at you. Like that curve ball when it's halfway to the plate.

Then, as the car gets close to you, you begin to see that it's no longer coming toward you very much, but is turning very quickly and will pass by you without hitting you or going off the track. Like the curve ball when it's 2 feet in front of the plate, and "falling off" the table.

The driver of the car hasn't moved his steering wheel the whole time. He's turning at a constant rate, the same as the circular track. The same as the curve ball, the direction of motion is changing at a constant rate.

The batter isn't moving, but the path of the ball is changing as it comes toward him, and his perception of the sideways motion is the sine of the angle between his sightline and the path of the ball. When the ball is coming straight at him, the angle is 0 and the sine is 0. It looks just like a fastball. The longer you wait, the more the path of the ball changes, and the larger is the angle and the sine of the angle. That's the math that explains why a ball that is following a circular path of constant radius seems to "fall off the table" when it gets very close to the batter.

That's also why your draw gradually turns into a duck hook as it approaches the edge of the fairway.

I’m trying not to take it personally, but that “your draw” conclusion stings a little bit . . . 8^D . . . .

of Tangential Interest

2010-10-24T22:47:00.001-07:00

Subject: from 92 Stories, a collection by James Thurber

From a story entitled “Miscellaneous Mentation”

…To substitute walking under ladders for not walking under ladders is a distinction without a difference. For here we have, in effect, a person who was afraid to walk under ladders, and is now afraid not to. In the first place he avoided ladders because he feared the very fear that that would put into him. This the psychologists call phobophobia (they really do). But *now* he is afraid of the very fear he had of being afraid and hence is a victim of what I can only cal phobophobophobia, and is in even deeper than he was before.

I am shocked, *shocked*, that this concept has not been more widely propagated and understood:

- every sportsman should immediately recognize this, particularly golfers, in that what debilitates us is not the fear of hitting the ball in the water (which is an ordinary hazard of the game), nor even fear of the fear of hitting the ball into the water (which we could avoid by laying up short of the hazard), but *fear of the fear of the fear of hitting the ball into the water* which is where we chunk or skull the ball leaving the obstacle still before us…

- every technical participant should also immediately recognize this, particularly programmers, in the same way where we *fear the fear of the fear of making a mistake* which leads inexorably to the bureaucratization of maintenance procedures to the point where nothing can be done, due to the embedded nestings of “from-now-on” restrictions.

- In stock market trading, as well as in programming, this stultification is known also as “paralysis by analysis” and in that arena leads to loss-of-profits due to the *fear of the fear of the fear of losing money* which, in the main, usually does guarantee the loss of more money.

I have no answers, I have only this quaint belief that naming something gives you a handle on it, and *phobophobophobia* seems like a useful handle to me.

New Zero-Day Attack Riddles Adobe Reader

2010-09-09T23:29:00.001-07:00

By Sidney Hill
TechNewsWorld
09/09/10 10:36 AM PT

Adobe software is everywhere. It's even more ubiquitous than Windows, and perhaps even more vulnerable to hacker schemes. The latest threat, which comes disguised as a golf lesson, consists of code that "can do almost whatever it wants," said ESET's Randy Abrams. "It can download malicious bots; it can load keystroke-tracking software, or any number of things."

<Snip>

The dangerous code is being unleashed via PDF files that users are enticed to open by a phishing email offering courses from David Leadbetter, a world-renowned golf instructor. When the PDF file is opened, it downloads a hidden program that attacks the user's system.

"This code can do almost whatever it wants," said Randy Abrams, director of technical education with ESET. "It can download malicious bots; it can load keystroke-tracking software, or any number of things."

http://www.technewsworld.com/story/70791.html?wlc=1284058573&wlc=1284099882

One bodacious hole . . .

2010-09-08T08:47:00.002-07:00

http://www.legend-resort.com/

Golfer Starts Fire by chipping

2010-09-01T04:36:00.001-07:00

IRVINE – After over seven hours of fighting the fire, a blaze probably sparked when a golfer chipped a rock with his club near Shady Canyon in Irvine was completely contained by 7:30 p.m., Orange County Fire Authority Captain Greg McKeown said.

Almost 200 firefighters battled the 12-acre blaze near the Shady Canyon Golf Course on Saturday, officials said.

The fire was reported at 12:07 p.m. as a hillside fire near the golf course. It burned through dense, heavy brush.

McKeown said two crews would remain throughout the night to prevent spot fires from flaring up. Another hand crew will return Sunday to mop up, he said.

At no point were the nearby multimillion-dollar homes in the gated Shady Canyon Golf Course at risk, McKeown said.

McKeown said the fire likely was sparked when a golfer – who knocked his golf ball into the grass that borders the fairway – struck a rock with his club trying to get the ball out of the rough.

Two other fires near Antonio Parkway and Ortega Highway that broke out at 12:30 p.m. were also extinguished.

http://www.ocregister.com/news/fire-264139-mckeown-canyon.html

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2) I tho’t my chipping was bad, but geez . . .

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